Let us begin
Fall is the time to plant bulbs and prepare for a beautiful spring lawn!
Keukenhof, the Netherlands, April 2007
“All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days . . .nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.”
― John F. Kennedy
One thing that bothers me most about contemporary culture is our collective impatience to see everything done quickly. There are quite a few things we can mass-produce rather than lovingly craft, and “that takes too much time” is a common indictment of all sorts of bygone skills and nearly forgotten ways of life.
But some things cannot be rushed, and some things require advance planning and organization. An elaborate holiday feast for family, a handmade gift for a special friend, the training of a new puppy or kitten; all take time that yields a rich return for our patience.
Don’t you love colorful spring flowers? Now is the time to plant some bulbs! I remember the first year I ever bought a lot of daffodil bulbs. During the hard work of planting them, I became irritated with myself for having bought so many bulbs in my enthusiasm. In the chilly fall I dug and dug until my hands were sore, but now, nearly ten years later, I still enjoy seeing my favorite flowers in the very early spring. Some of them have spread beyond the initial planting. It took time, but it was worth it.
A lovely lawn or garden; a well-behaved child; a uniquely hand-crafted furnishing or decoration — all these and more will make the world more beautiful for all of us. It’s hard work, and we won’t see the results immediately…but let us begin!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
If you look
A medieval illuminated manuscript at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, July 2007
“If you look at an illuminated manuscript, even today, it just blows your mind. For them, without all the clutter and inputs that we have, it must have been even more extraordinary.” — Geraldine Brooks
I started reading aloud to our sons when they were babies, and kept it up nightly until they were in middle school. Over the years I marveled at the multitude of gorgeous picture books that were available in full, vibrant colors. When I was a child, picture books were fewer in number, and many of them had only two or three colors. In fact, some of the Caldecott Medal winners such as Make Way for Ducklings were muted in appearance compared to the bright hues that decorated even the least expensive picture books our sons enjoyed. I wondered if they had any idea how lucky they were, having hundreds of visually appealing titles available at any public library or bookstore.
Of course, our children could say something similar about the greater benefits available to young readers today, who have animated eBooks with motion, sound, and interactive features available at the click of a key. For all the talk about reading being an endangered pastime, the various formats of literary offerings seem to become ever more plentiful, accessible and diverse. Imagine, then, how a medieval reader (or nonreader, as the vast majority were) would react to the literary wealth of our era.
But even centuries ago, there were picture books. Before the printing press ushered in a renaissance that was as far-reaching as our digital revolution of today, books had to be copied by hand. Countless monks and scribes literally gave their entire lives (and sometimes their eyesight) carefully duplicating texts that had slim chances of surviving the ravages of uncontrolled climate, hungry insects and pillaging or censoring conquerors. It’s a bit amazing that any of these treasures survived.
Some did, though, and among the most amazing are the illuminated manuscripts, with elaborate border decorations and richly detailed illustrations. The intricate patterns and calligraphy tell an unwritten story that goes beyond the diligently copied text, reminding us that books have been vital to humanity for as long as history has been recorded. The countless hours spent preparing, recording and preserving the written word testify to the respect, even reverence, that books have always commanded from those who appreciate them.
It’s fun to wonder whether much of the deluge of writing now available online will live through as many centuries as the handwritten texts have survived. Does the ease of writing (and deleting), the abundance of lovely photos and artwork so easily viewed on any computer, and the common expectation of widespread literacy, cause us to devalue one of the greatest blessings people have ever been granted? Are we treating words and illustrations carelessly, flinging them about with the contempt that often accompanies any easily available, seemingly boundless resource?
Perhaps some of us are, at least now and then. But I’d like to think that a great many of us — particularly those who are reading and writing words right now, rather than passively taking in television re-runs — comprehend the surpassing importance and responsibility attached to literacy. There’s a popular bumper sticker that says, “If you can read this, thank a teacher.” Perhaps there should be one that says, “If you can read this, BE a teacher — and a learner!”
Whatever you are doing today, you’ll be in contact with written words more often than you’re even aware of them. I hope you’ll take a moment to be thankful for this gift of literacy, which binds us to people centuries removed from us. They’ve left us richly illustrated reminders that words can be, and often are, extraordinarily beautiful.
For a look at picture books of bygone days, see Elephant’s Picture Book, a fun and interesting blog!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Your message
Even when it’s very, very dark, there’s a light shining somewhere.
Here’s the full moon, shining on Dam Neck, Virginia, September 2013
“If you want to get your message across, shut up.” — Mardy Grothe
I don’t take this advice nearly as often as I ought to, but today, I get it. I schedule these posts about two weeks in advance, so I have no idea how I’ll be feeling when this post is published. But right now, as I am writing it, I am just treading water. Maybe my wonderful and funny and highly intelligent readers can help write this post for me. Got any sunny, happy or at least wise thoughts to share? Today, I am attempting to Defeat Despair by keeping my mouth shut!
Wish me luck.
This post was first published seven years ago today. How ironic that it should re-post on the fourth anniversary of Jeff’s death. Appropriate, I guess, because for all of my writing and talking, there are still no words to communicate the unsurpassed loss.
The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Wild with leaves
Autumn leaves at Colonial Williamsburg remind me of all that I love about the season. November, 2004
“Listen! The wind is rising, and the air is wild with leaves,
We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!”
― Humbert Wolfe
The photo above was taken just a few months after we moved to Virginia, having lived in northern California for the past five years. I was almost unbearably homesick for the west coast. The heat, humidity, unpredictable thunderstorms and hungry mosquitoes had been a real adjustment. But when fall rolled around, it brought back distant memories that refocused my perceptions.
For the first several years here in Virginia, we had season passes to nearby Colonial Williamsburg. After the crowds of tourists thinned out in the autumn, it was magical to walk the dirt roads there at dusk. Fire torches and flickering candles provided light as the darkness fell, and the colors of autumn seemed a fitting complement to the carefully re-created historic atmosphere. My rediscovery of the joys of the season was the beginning of my love for the Commonwealth of Virginia.
In our other homes far west of here, we had seemingly endless warm days and mild evenings, year round (or nearly so) and dearly loved. Yet four distinct seasons provide a different kind of enjoyment, and I feel grateful to be back in the climate I loved in childhood.
What are your favorite memories of this season? Wherever you live, I wish you October eves rich with autumn’s unique enchantment!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Do not wait
Matt with “Ms. Darla,” who has opened so many doors for him. February 2012
“Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” — Mother Teresa
If I’ve learned anything at all since Matt was born, I’ve learned this: no government or agency can match the power of one dedicated and compassionate person to improve the life of another.
Agencies, laws and governments are necessary, but to the extent that we come to rely on them for needs that can never be answered except by the presence of another human, they can work against us. Indeed, we can excuse ourselves from difficult or uncomfortable work by telling ourselves that “agencies” or “the state” or “the church” can take care of the problem. This is an illusion, and a dangerous one.
When I look back on Matt’s life, it’s always the individuals who made a difference for our family. The perceptive fourth grade teacher who saw past the disabilities to the intelligence that was not always obvious. The occupational therapist who patiently helped me understand what Matt’s challenges are, and how we can do little things daily to help him overcome them. Above all, the friends who simply loved us, letting their hearts lead the way and doing naturally the things that others, afraid of making mistakes, were too hesitant to do.
The remarkable lady pictured above with Matt has helped him, and many others with or without disabilities, in countless ways during the years — almost a decade now — that we have had the gift of her friendship. Her considerable skills and experience make her a candidate for more lucrative and prestigious careers, but she chooses to dedicate herself to her community and its people, volunteering in various ways that bring her into contact with those who need her.
Most importantly, she does all these things with a joy and enthusiasm that could never be matched by a salaried person sitting behind a counter or desk. In serving others face to face, person to person, she changes many lives. While she is one of the few people who have ever been willing to join me in my political activism (we spent a marvelous day in Richmond at the capital, meeting with our elected representatives and their staff), she never waits for leaders to do things that need to be done. How different our world would be if there were more people with her energy and dedication!
You may not see yourself as having abilities unavailable to powerful or well-known leaders, but in reality, you have opportunities that they will never know about. In your own family, church, community, school — really anywhere you go — big and little doors are open to you, chances to act in small ways that cumulatively bring about great change. It starts with a smile, a kind word, a human touch that no organization or legislature can produce. When you step out as one person to make a change in your world, you really aren’t alone; you’ll become part of an unknown army of others like you, who make the world a better place every day.
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Not a child
Amy’s dog is one hundred percent adorable. Manassas, Virginia, July 2013
“My dog is not a child substitute, according to its pediatrician.” — Rita Rudner
On a recent weekend visit, Drew and Megan were laughing about their having unintentionally referred to Grady as “Pasha” a couple of times. I laughed too, but before the weekend was over, I had done it myself. It’s an easy mistake to make. They’re about the same size, not too much difference in the weight, same sort of addictive cuteness that elicits an irresistible urge to talk in silly voices.
Most of us who have animals in our homes probably never realized that adopting a pet would bring out behaviors to which we once thought ourselves immune. You may have even said at some point (as I did, more than once) “I would never, ever act as foolish over a dog (or cat or bird or whatever) as they do — you would think that was a child.”
The interesting thing is, once you lose that particular illusion, you’re in. You get it. And you will usually find yourself much more enamored of animals in general. Some of my best friends are my best friends’ dogs. Take the sweetheart pictured above. He (yes, it’s a HE, and no sexist remarks about the doll please) is one of the most loveable cuties I’ve ever seen. Good thing he’s too big for me to hold on my lap.
If you are lucky enough to have an animal in your household, take it from one parent to another: Enjoy these years. They go by much too fast!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Alterations
Early American style displayed at the dressmaker’s shop, Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia, November 2004
“Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.” — Faith Baldwin
I imagine most of you remember Scarlett O’Hara’s reinvention of her parlor curtains, as well as Carol Burnett’s hilarious parody of it. I admired Scarlett’s ability to work with whatever she had, which often wasn’t very much. In our era, when new clothing is relatively easy to obtain, we scarcely ever re-fit or repurpose garments, but time’s alterations continue unabated.
As Jeff and I have aged, I have reached the conclusion that no trait is more necessary for thriving in late life as the ability to adapt to change. For some of us, change is exciting in certain situations, but the types of changes that go along with getting older are not all of the stimulating, desirable kind. Research tells us that even positive change is stressful. How to cope, then?
Perhaps Baldwin’s analogy is helpful. Start with a lovely, flattering dress that has gone out of style, or no longer fits. A clever seamstress can refashion the cut and details to accommodate the new circumstances, keeping the classic features of the original while adding touches here and there that disguise and decorate. And a really talented seamstress can do this more than once with the same gown. Maybe we can do something similar with our daily lives.
I’ve grudgingly made some adjustments to what I expect my body to do now. I cannot tolerate the same amount of eating, exercise or excitement I relished when I was younger. I’ve added some interesting details, though, that weren’t part of my life thirty years ago. Focusing on the wealth of experiences, memories and relationships that have deepened over time keeps me from wallowing in regret over what now belongs to the past, or what never was.
Have you been busy with time’s alterations? Have you a new lace collar, some eye-catching buttons or different hemline to share with us? Give us some hints on re-inventing! And enjoy your new look – on you it’s fabulous!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Stories to tell
Fort Raleigh National Historic Site is rich with imaginary echoes of the Lost Colony.
Roanoke Island, North Carolina, September 2013
“With thousands of years of human habitation, this land surely has stories to tell. The trees rustle with whispers of those who have come and gone.” — from a display at the Visitor’s Center at Fort Raleigh National Historic Site
Recently Jeff and I visited beautiful Roanoke Island, North Carolina, the site of the mysterious “Lost Colony.” Encountering such unanswered questions of history, it’s easy to let imagination take flight as surely as the Wright brothers’ plane did at nearby Kill Devil Hills. The sylvan enchantment of the grounds around Fort Raleigh are especially captivating for those of us who are inclined to create mental pictures to fill in the gaps left by the information engraved on historic markers.
Have you ever visited a place rich with history and felt some intangible sense of what happened there in years past? Do you love to read historical novels that take up where the often debatable “facts” of history leave off? Touring a spot that has stories to tell, whether it’s a modest home built centuries ago or the ruins of an ancient city, helps me step out of my own circumstances and breathe in the richly textured nuances left behind in whatever remains or has been re-created. As with all forms of travel, visiting another era gives me perspective on my own struggles, helping me see my life with newly appreciative eyes.
If traveling to a geographically distant place is not possible for you anytime soon, try taking a vacation to a bygone era. No matter where you live, you will be close enough to such a place to make a daytime visit there and be back in our own time by evening. You won’t need to pack anything except maybe a camera, but do bring along your imagination. Those of you who are experienced time travelers, share some of your flights of fancy with us!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Autumnal sunshine
Gather the golden moments of autumn, with a camera or just in memories. Yorktown, 2008
“I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine by staying in the house.” — Nathaniel Hawthorne
“In autumn, don’t go to jewelers to see gold; go to the parks!” — Mehmet Murat ildan
As our President would say, let me be clear. Yesterday’s post was about rainy weather. On a gloriously bright fall day, we simply MUST find the time to go outdoors for at least a little while. No other time of year features the combination of visual opulence, agreeable temperatures, and sunshine that electrifies the foliage and flowers. Spring’s loveliest weather tends to come before the trees are at their fullest or flowers are at peak bloom. In the fall, before the leaves drop and the flowers fade away, there is a rich abundance suggestive of the festivities to come.
Let’s heed the words of two writers who come from very different locations and eras. As their tributes to autumn suggest, some pleasures are universal and unchanging. If you have any fine weather this week, don’t let it go to waste! Go out and gather beautiful images, scents and sounds to treasure through the winter.
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
What to do
Even in Hawaii, Drew had no regrets about spending some time indoors. Honolulu, 1995
“Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” – Susan Ertz
As the warm weather fades and the cold or rainy season moves in, we’ll all be indoors more, whether we like or not. I like it.
I relish the chance to spend hours at home, puttering around indoors, despite my great love of long walks and trees and flowers. There are so many things I enjoy that make engaging indoor pursuits. As my books, magazines, craft supplies and well-stocked tea cabinet suggest, I am about as prepared for rainy days as one can be.
Drew has always loved rainy weather, and while he likes actually being outside in it, getting wet and soaking up the pervasive atmosphere that goes along with a stormy day, I suspect part of his love for gloomy weather is rooted in so many of the pastimes he loves. When he was a child, I never had to entertain him. He made his own fun, and could find ways to keep his busy mind occupied no matter where he found himself.
That’s actually a great talent, I think. Most people who read blogs have lively minds that are interested in a variety of topics, but I wonder how well we would function if the computer, smart phones and tablets suddenly went unavailable for long stretches of time. I’d like to think that I have enough reading, crafting, baking and homemaking projects to keep me happy through a lifetime of long winters.
Whether or not this Sunday afternoon is a rainy one for you, I hope it’s a peaceful one, with time for prayer, meditation, quiet conversation and any number of indoor pleasures. It’s much easier to face the coming of winter when our homes are stocked with happy hobbies and plentiful projects. Have a comfy-cozy afternoon!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The ability to be happy indoors has taken on a whole new dimension of importance in the post-COVID world, and I hope we’ve all honed that trait in the past months.
The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
A moveable feast
They talk of Paris in the spring, but it’s also beautiful in autumn. September, 2005
“If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.”
― Ernest Hemingway
I haven’t even been lucky enough to visit Paris more than twice, let alone live there, but for me it was love at first sight. Those visits will stay with me the rest of my life, so I can easily imagine the truth behind Hemingway’s apt and much-quoted description.
That description isn’t true only of Paris, however. As we enter the season most associated with feasts of various kinds, let’s think about the places we have been, and how our souls have feasted on the beautiful, unique, stimulating or relaxing qualities of this astoundingly diverse and breathtakingly gorgeous planet. I am guessing that most of you, like me, have many places you carry around in your heart, moveable feasts that will stay with you forever.
I started this blog, in part, as a way to document and celebrate such joys I’ve experienced, but I have only seen a small fraction of all the earth has to offer. What are some of your moveable feasts? Share your thoughts, links, or photos below, and let’s have a banquet today!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Its own season
Pumpkins were plentiful at this shop near the Outer Banks, North Carolina, September 2013
“Oh how we love pumpkin season. You did know this gourd-ish squash has its own season, right? Winter, Spring, Summer, Pumpkin…. We anxiously anticipate it every year.” ~Trader Joe’s Fearless Flyer
Full disclosure: I don’t care for eating anything pumpkin-flavored. I know many people who do, however, and I love the scents and sights related to this gorgeous gourd. So I felt it would be appropriate to post a paean to the pumpkin.
If you’re lucky enough to live near a Trader Joe’s (and btw, I told Jeff that a non-negotiable consideration in choosing a place to retire is whether there is a Trader Joe’s nearby) you know that TJ’s loves pumpkins as much as they describe in the quote above. You can get endless pumpkin-flavored treats there: pies, pancake mixes, cakes, cookies, coffee, even the unadorned pumpkins themselves, in a variety of styles and sizes.
But, luckily for the world, pumpkins (which are thought to be native to North America) are easy to grow, and are now found almost everywhere except Antarctica. Mma Ramotswe, the charming and indefatigable protagonist of Alexander McCall Smith’s delightful series, waxes eloquent about the joys and comforts of pumpkins in her home country of Botswana. A visit with Mma Ramotswe is almost enough to convince me to try eating pumpkin once in awhile, since I trust her judgment; she also has a tremendous appreciation of TEA!
Anyway, my point (and I do have one) is that pumpkin popularity is widespread and here to stay. Chances are you have at least one thing that is pumpkin-related in your home every fall. For me, it’s pumpkin scented hand soaps from Bath and Body Works, and pumpkin-flavored coffees and treats for those in our family who love them.
How about you? Are you a pumpkin lover? Do you enjoy them in various forms during the October, November and December holidays? Share your favorites and traditions– even recipes, if you like. The pumpkin lovers among us will thank you!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Our gardens — our wills
The well-tended flowers of Boston Public Garden on a lovely September day in 2007
“Our bodies are our gardens – our wills are our gardeners.” – William Shakespeare
The more I think about this analogy, the more it holds up on several different levels. Gardening is not easy; it involves no small amount of dirt, sweat and failure. But the rewards, which go beyond the final results each year, are well worth the effort. And the effort itself is often a pleasure, especially as experience teaches us the most efficient and successful methods.
Discipline and regularity in weeding, feeding and pest control are crucial in maintaining a garden. In a similar way, discipline and regularity are required for us to give our bodies the food, rest, and exercise they need, while guarding against toxins, exhaustion, and excessive or unwanted weight gain or other stressors.
As with gardening, this may sound like a recipe for NO FUN, but I’ve found it surprisingly easy to train my tastes away from harmful treats and toward more nourishing ones. And I’ve found, as have countless others, that making a habit of exercise will eventually create a valued place for it in my day, one that I give up only when absolutely necessary, and resume as quickly as possible.
If you are a gardener, you may connect with what I’m saying. But even if you aren’t, you probably know some tips and tricks you’ve learned to maintain your physical health, and thus increase your ability to brighten the world with your own unique flowers or fruits. What are some of the most effective “weed control” methods we can use to stay fit? How can we stay replenished and refreshed year after year?
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
We must discover
Jeff and Matt in Washington, DC, April 2005
“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.” — Marcel Proust
As several readers have pointed out recently, we have many sources from which to seek wisdom. For people of faith, holy scriptures are primary; for all of us, other writings, exemplary lives, history and literature offer additional guidance. But help and guidance from other sources, however trustworthy, are only part of the process.
In library school, we studied the processes by which data becomes information (through meaningful organization of that data) and information becomes knowledge (through meaningful interpretation of that information). Getting from knowledge to wisdom is the hardest part, though. It requires ongoing and diligent application of knowledge, in the context of real-life experience, and it doesn’t happen quickly or by proxy.
Most of us, especially if we are parents, have a hard time standing by and watching others make mistakes that we feel we can warn them against. Sometimes our words are heeded, but often we suffer the painful helplessness of seeing people we care about, messing up their lives in big or small ways we feel they could easily avoid — and sometimes we overstep our boundaries, trying to protect them from the fallout of their errors. (Can you say “co-dependent?”) Of course, others have endured watching us stumble through similar lessons in the school of hard experience.
This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t do our best to teach and learn; to spare others the difficult consequences of poor choices or unwise decisions. In the end, though, each of us bears responsibility, on whatever level we are able, for the paths we choose, and the destinations we reach. It takes great faith, hope, endurance and patience — the same traits we want others to show us — to help each other along.
We may be unable to spare others the journey, or take it in their place. But we can do our best to see that they don’t travel all alone. I can’t say it enough: thanks for being with us on this long, uncertain road. We are often discouraged, sometimes afraid, but we know we are never alone!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
If I do nothing else
This tree is now immense, a fitting symbol of the country Washington helped to grow.
I took this photo at Mount Vernon in April, 2010.
“If I do nothing else in my lifetime but leave the world a good tree, I’ve done something.” — Ray Bracken
George Washington did far more than leave the world a good tree. He left an entire estate of trees, shrubs, flowers and innovative building techniques that can be seen to this day at Mount Vernon, Virginia. I photographed the modestly labeled Tulip Poplar there, though it was scarcely noticed by the tourists captivated by other attractions at Washington’s home. The Tulip Poplar is the state tree of Tennessee, where I once worked for the Division of Forestry, but the tree in the photograph above is perhaps the largest Tulip Poplar I have ever seen (too large to capture in a single photograph), and it grows in Virginia.
Of course, Washington did numerous other noteworthy things, about which you have likely heard or read. And Bracken, who is quoted above, did more than just plant a tree. He developed new cultivars of the lovely Magnolia, and anyone who has ever enjoyed the sumptuous beauty of these giants will agree that he accomplished more than enough.
I liked Bracken’s quote because it underscores the importance of keeping a focus on realistic goals. Most of us have more ambition than we have time to fulfill. Whether our goal is to save lives, save souls, feed the hungry, provide homes for those without them, or rescue wildlife or domestic animals, or maybe all of the above, sooner or later we are bound to bump up against the disappointing reality of our own limitations. At such times, we need to remind ourselves that, if we do what we can, that will be enough, and sometimes even more than enough.
Most of us will never accomplish the kinds of things that George Washington (or even Ray Bracken) accomplished. But that’s OK. It’s likely that there are things we can do, every day, that nobody else could or would. If we focus on the something(s) we can do, we’ll ultimately do more, because we will not be burdened with regrets about the things that now seem to be beyond our reach.
What kind of “good tree” do you most hope to leave for the world? What can you do today, to work toward that goal?
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
The world’s best teachers
The dog has now passed on, and the boy is now all grown, but Eagle Scout Aaron still has much to teach about courtesy, respect and achievement. Winnweiler, Germany, August 2005
“Children and animals are the world’s best teachers– but very few adults really want to be educated.” — Ashleigh Brilliant
Educators have long known that learning is optimal when the lessons are engaging and fun. What better teachers, then, than animals and children? I hope there are more adults wanting this sort of education than Ashleigh thinks there are, but if not, maybe some of us will catch on when the stress becomes unbearable and we think “there must be a better way to live.”
The only thing more fun than watching animals or children at play, is watching them at play with each other. This has been one of the nicest gifts of the online world – we can now watch and share hilarious clips of kids and animals doing what they do best, and teaching us, among other things, how important it is to laugh as often as possible.
Blog readers have shared some real gems in the comments over the past year. If you missed the link to the cat on the Roomba, or the sledding crow, try a Google search for those clips (or try the terms “guilty dog” or “parrot talking in Chinese” or just “funny animal videos”). But what about kids and animals together? Does anybody have some good links to funny clips of children interacting with animals? If so, please post them in the comments below. We could all use a fun lesson today.
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
What the world gives you
This photo was taken just down the street from our York home during autumn, 2008.
“Use what you have, use what the world gives you. Use the first day of fall: bright flame before winter’s deadness; harvest; orange, gold, amber; cool nights and the smell of fire. Our tree-lined streets are set ablaze, our kitchens filled with the smells of nostalgia: apples bubbling into sauce, roasting squash, cinnamon, nutmeg, cider, warmth itself.”
— Shauna Niequist
Today is officially the first day of fall, a season that brings abundant gifts. All too often, it’s also a season of stress, as we adjust to new school schedules, plan for a host of holiday activities, and fight the psychological dread of another long, cold winter approaching.
At the start of this new season, I am coaching myself to make full use of these September gifts, no matter what other unpleasant or anxious situations may await me in the weeks to come. As I intentionally savor the small delights that can easily slip by unnoticed, I am calmed and strengthened, able to keep getting up one more time after the disappointments and sorrows that sometimes seem to come one right after another.
You may look forward to the same magical moments Niequist describes in the quote, or you may have other autumnal treats in store. Whatever good things the world gives you, I hope you will make use of every joy that comes your way. I hope the sights, scents and sounds of fall will bless you with a cozy comfort that wraps you in its blissful warmth and reassures your soul that no matter what happens, all will be well.
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Such a beautiful day
Just another glorious fall day at Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, October 2003
“I cried at first…..and then, it was such a beautiful day, that I forgot to be unhappy.” — Frances Noyes Hart
Have you ever walked outside in a gloomy mood, and been overtaken by the sheer beauty of the day? It’s happened to me many times, and the feeling of relief and joy that floods over me is no less than when a physical pain is eased. Most often it happens on one of those gloriously sunny days when the temperature is comfortable and there is the faintest breeze to keep me cool as I walk. But sometimes it’s a winter day when the sun is reflected blindingly bright from the snow, or even a rainy day when the drizzle makes a soothing sound that complements the thirsty earth’s refreshment.
Perhaps no season is as full of such days as autumn. During our years in California, on both the central coast and the northern bay area, October was the warmest time of year, sunny every single day. Here on the east coast, autumn is even more glorious, with vivid fall foliage that takes my breath away no matter how often I see it.
If you are beset with sorrow or gloom right now, I hope you will soon enjoy some of those glorious fall days that help you forget to be unhappy. I’m looking forward to them; the kind of days when simply walking outdoors is like getting a big divine hug that says “Everything is going to be alright in the end.”
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
A combination
Four members of Jeff’s family joined mine in Atlanta to encourage us
on the night before Matt’s second open heart surgery at Emory, July 1994.
“Home is a combination of human will and divine grace.” — Alexandra Stoddard
Whether we live alone or with family, whether we open our doors to traveling friends and adopted animals, or prefer a more solitary life, it takes substantial effort to create and maintain a home. Despite what we sometimes refer to as modern conveniences, the challenge has never been greater than it is in today’s world.
Because so many aspects of life converge there, a residence serves as the hub for diverse and often conflicting demands. It is roughly equal parts functional work station, entertainment center and quiet retreat. Cell phones and computers have only increased the demands on the home in all three roles, and often the lines blur confusingly. It takes planning, organization and vigilant management to keep a balance that will enhance rather than burden our lives.
But our best efforts often fall short of perfection — and thank goodness it is not needed. Because homes also are places of divine grace, where our busy, sometimes frantic activities are augmented by something intangible that pulls everything together into harmony surprisingly often. Not always, but more often than our harried hurry might suggest.
The beauty of freshly cut flowers in a simple glass vase; the unique ambience of soothing music or lively conversation; the cozy hour spent with a cup of tea and a good book, or a quiet period of shared reflection with someone we love — all these things and countless others adorn our living spaces with a grace that does not come from human hands or laborious endeavors.
Perhaps we would do well to recognize and amplify these unexpected gifts — what one reader recently described as “pockets of joy” — and focus our efforts on those activities which seem most likely to create time and space for them. Today, I hope you will find a renewed awareness of all the many ways you are happy and blessed in your home. What actions seem to create synergy between our achievements and our blessings? How can we provide an environment where we are tuned in and ready to welcome these gifts of grace whenever they come?
Happy Birthday today to my mother, Sybil,
who created a home for us filled with human will and divine grace!
This post was first published seven years ago today. Mama, the blonde seated directly in front of Jeff, was (almost to the day) exactly the same age in this1994 photo as I am today, on the day this post appears again. It’s a tribute to her that she continued to play such an important role in the lives of all four of her children, who had come from four different states to be together that night. When I snapped this picture, she and Daddy had just cooked a hearty meal for everyone pictured, and it was somehow a festive evening despite the grim and frightening days that lay ahead of us.
The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Things that look used
This threadbare little raccoon has seen the world.
Gludgey in Drew’s room in Vacaville, CA, soon headed back to Tennessee, August 2003
“I like things that look used, especially when they were used by someone who matters to me.” – Gary Hager
Does this raggedy raccoon look familiar? If so, you may have seen him in this post. Actually, I have pictures of him in any number of places; looking out the window of the Coast Starlight, cruising the Caribbean, catching the rays of Hawaiian sunshine. He’s a world traveler, and though he never talks about his experiences, they have clearly left their mark on him.
On Drew’s first Christmas, when he was about 9 months old, our dear friends who were his unofficial godparents gave him this then-plush and beautiful toy raccoon. For reasons never clear to us, Drew soon told us “his name is Gludgey.” (Drew was an early talker, but the spelling was my own guess that met his later approval.) Gludgey has been everywhere with Drew, for more years than we would have ever predicted. In fact, as Drew got older, I was a bit torn between being happy that he was not eager to leave childhood behind, and worried that his friends would tease him for hanging on to his dearly loved toy companion. If Drew felt the slightest bit self-conscious about it, he gave no sign of it.
I’m not exaggerating. Gludgey went away to summer camps, on all our vacations, even on medical mission trips to South America with his buddy who was by then in high school. Then he went off to college with Drew, thousands of miles from his California home. The next year, the day Drew left to go back to school at the end of the summer, Jeff came into the kitchen with a rather sad expression on his face. “I see Drew left Gludgey behind this time. That’s the end of that. I guess he has finally grown up.”
That night the phone rang. “I forgot to bring Gludgey — can you mail him to me?” I agreed, but I snapped several photos first (including the one above) in case the Gludgemeister got lost in the mail. He didn’t. In fact, I believe he went to Athens and later, to Oxford with Drew, spending those overseas semesters with him. I have to wonder what Drew’s classmates thought.
In case you’re curious, Gludgey was consigned to a closet shelf when Drew married and had the good sense to take someone else’s decorating preferences into consideration, but I suppose the venerable raccoon will re-emerge about the time Grady is old enough to notice him. As these things tend to go, Grady may not like him– at least not at first– but he probably won’t have immediate veto power.
Do you have old, well-loved toys, blankets or other comfort objects (including furniture) that you would not part with for anything newer or grander? I’ve found that many of us do. At nearly 57, I have a soft spot in my heart for anyone who treasures old things. As the wonderful story The Velveteen Rabbit so eloquently describes it, it’s not getting OLD – it’s becoming REAL. Please tell us about your favorite “real” things!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
If you look close enough
Teens from church visit a senior member’s home and take a closer look at her life.
Fairfield, California, August 2003.
“Even the most ordinary life is a mystery if you look close enough.” — Kennedy Fraser
It seems to me one of the saddest aspects of modern culture that people get a lot of their reality from television shows. Admittedly I know very little about it since I’ve shunned television for over 25 years now, but the term “reality TV” seems an oxymoron. How could anything on television be reality? Even the so-called news is carefully packaged, edited and slanted to someone else’s specifications.
If reality TV is popular, it’s probably because people are basically fascinating to begin with. I realize I might get an argument here, but I honestly believe it. I have never ceased to be amazed at the complexity of each and every life I’ve ever been acquainted with, and the fact that there are millions and billions of them only increases my awe that each life is very different from every other. If people seem all alike and boring to you, it may be that you’re not looking closely enough.
I guess the blogosphere is the online version of reality TV. But at least here, we can talk back and forth, and get to know each other. Some of you I have met in person, some I have known for years, and some I have never met, but feel as if I have; as if we could go to lunch and talk as old friends do, with no awkward silence or pretension. I love that. I love that I have come to know a little bit about so many people all over the world, people who were totally unknown to me before, whose existence was hidden to me by the limitations of geographical distance and half-imaginary borders of culture, nationality or age differences. More than ever, we are surrounded by rich opportunities for friendship, understanding, and joy.
Not everyone is comfortable interacting online, and that’s OK. But all of us, no matter our preferences and habits, daily come into contact with lots of people whose lives touch ours in some direct or indirect way. I’ve found that life is much more interesting when I stop to take a closer look at the people in my life. It’s a lot harder to stay depressingly immersed in the relatively small world of my own challenges and troubles; a lot easier to avoid despair when I realize that we all struggle at times, and have much to offer each other.
Who are the celebrities of your personal world? Who is in the supporting cast? If your life was a reality TV show, who would be the characters we’d come back to see again and again? There is mystery in the ordinary; can you unravel it? Stay tuned!
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
The most effective technique
Kindness is a trait we start to learn early.
Drew visits the animals on my friend Judy’s farm, near Dayton, Ohio, 1987.
“People often ask me what is the most effective technique for transforming their life. It is a little embarrassing that after years and years of research and experimentation, I have to say that the best answer is–just be a little kinder.” — Aldous Huxley
I thought quite awhile about Huxley’s conclusion, and I think it has a lot of merit. I can think of hardly any world problem — war, disease, hunger, crime — that would not lessen significantly if kindness grew and became more widespread. And on a smaller scale, much day-to-day misery is alleviated in countless situations by people who show kindness in big or little ways.
But on a more personal level, as I consider my own life, I know that thinking, feeling and being kinder is a solution to many of the little irritations that sour my moods and put a grouchy expression on my face. When I’m feeling patient with other people, my day just seems to go better. When I’m angry or frustrated with others, even for good reasons, it’s my own day, mood and life that suffer most. And I’m a hotheaded person who needs this lesson more than almost anyone I know.
Sometimes, the simplest things can be the hardest. Kindness is a trait that comes naturally to many of us at least some of the time, but there is never enough of it to go around. Yet it’s fairly easy to find ways to be kind if we are willing to make the effort, and as with so many actions, one kindness often leads to another.
Next time you’re having a really bad day, try this: take a few deep breaths, remind yourself that you will most likely survive whatever minor disasters you’re coping with, and resolve to use kindness as a strategy to lighten your mood and make an immediate improvement to your attitude. Then practice — even if it feels stiff and unnatural at first — smiling at people, opening doors for strangers, complimenting cute babies or dogs you see, letting someone who is obviously in a hurry go ahead of you in the checkout line at Walmart. Even if you can’t muster any affection for strangers, FAKE it. I bet it will brighten your day, even if only by allowing you a private inner laugh at your own awkward efforts.
Have you ever made a conscious effort to be more kind? If so, how did it make you feel? Do you agree with Huxley that kindness is an effective means of transformation?
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
The world’s largest collection
OK, so I didn’t leave my ENTIRE collection on the beach at Captiva! January, 2013
“I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world…perhaps you’ve seen it.” — Steven Wright
I think one of the best traits we can develop is the capacity to thoroughly enjoy something without having to own it. If you can master this skill, you can have more fun than money could ever buy. And you’ll eventually enjoy a financial freedom that opens up all sorts of opportunities to you that would be unavailable if you were encumbered with the many costs of owning things.
When ownership is not your goal, you can go shopping for the evening, and ooh and ahh over any clothing, shoes, jewelry or furnishings that catch your eye. Price is unimportant if you’re not trying to take anything home with you, but just want to appreciate its beauty. Then you’ll come home without any shopping bags or bills, but a bank of visual images that are just as pretty (maybe prettier) in your memory as they would be in your home.
You can explore parks and libraries and streets of your home town, all for nothing (or next to nothing). With a free card to your local public library, you can take home any books you see that even mildly interest you, and keep them for weeks before returning them. Browse to your heart’s content, read about places you’ve never been and hobbies you might explore.
If you like to collect things, start collecting photographs! Now that digital cameras are affordable, you can take as many as you like at no additional cost. As the signs in many national parks and forests read: “Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints.” Photographs are a joy to have, and you can store thousands of them on an SD card the size of a postage stamp. The ultimate alternative to dusty clutter!
I’ve often heard grandparents say that the most appealing aspect of grandchildren is that you can enjoy them, but somebody else has to take them home and take care of them. That same principle can apply to everything from diamonds to dresses to décor. It’s fun, and even necessary, to own some things. But it’s even more fun to collect moments of enjoying things you will never have to worry about owning.
What are some things you enjoy most without ever wanting to buy, own, or take care of?
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Other springs
Jeff enjoys springtime on Grand Cayman Island, March 2011
When we began this endless trek,
I feared I saw a darkened door,
Through which a line of marching sick
Were heading for some winter shore.
But now the news the doctor brings
Seems to promise other springs. — Jane Yolen
One year ago today, Jeff went into the local emergency room with sudden, acute abdominal pain that suggested appendicitis. That day I got a phone call from him in the ER with the kind of devastating news we all dread; news that would change our lives abruptly and irrevocably.
It was the beginning of a year that was to bring him two different cancers diagnosed (apparently unrelated to each other), four surgeries, four weeks in the hospital, two different courses of chemotherapy and one of radiation, countless trips to Bethesda, and further surgeries and treatments planned, with no completion of treatment in sight. The initial diagnosis of atypical cardinoid in the appendix was worrisome enough, but with the additional finding of Stage IV adenocarcinoma of the colon, with multiple tumors scattered over the liver and lungs, his prognosis was grim indeed.
On Christmas Eve 2010, a dear friend of ours had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Sometime in the weeks following, Jeff picked up a copy of the book The Radiation Sonnets, written by the prolific and multiple-award-winning author Jane Yolen, who penned the sonnets daily as a way of coping with her husband’s cancer treatment. Jeff hoped the book might bring comfort to this wonderful couple we loved, who were facing a such a formidable challenge. He didn’t read it, but asked me to review it and decide whether it would be an appropriate gift.
By the time I was able to skim the book, our friend’s prognosis and condition had worsened, and I felt the hopeful tone on which the book ended might not fit the current circumstances. I set the book aside hoping the time would come when it might be more fitting for them, or if not, there might be other friends who could benefit from it someday.
Shortly after Jeff’s second cancer diagnosis in November 2012, I was going through the cache of gifts I keep on hand when I buy something perfect for a particular person, to save for the next Christmas or birthday. I found Yolen’s now-forgotten book and decided to read it, with the somber realization that the person I had been saving it for turned out to be me.
The poem I partially quote above, entitled “Ask the doctor,” falls slightly more than halfway through the book. I clung to it and read it often during the darkest days, with the fervent hope that there might someday be an appropriate time to feature it in this blog. I am filled with gratitude and joy that the time finally seems right.
It’s not that we’ve gotten any particularly good news lately, but Jeff has again managed to fend off some frightening and excruciatingly painful side effects from the chemotherapy that has ravaged his body, and with every comeback, I feel more hopeful. As did Yolen’s husband, Jeff still faces a very uncertain future, but one that holds considerably more hope than it did just over ten months ago when I began this blog.
All of you who have joined us on this path, through your visits here, comments, thoughts and prayers, have helped us reach a brighter place. I think of every reader with appreciation and a deeply thankful heart. You have created for me this supportive community that has upheld me through more than I could have imagined thus far. As we continue forward with a renewed determination to defeat despair, know always that you have played an important role in our ability to rise above the pain and sorrow. As I love to say in my comments, “thanks for being here!”
This post was first published seven years ago today. A few of these posts are so hard to re-visit that I actually dread returning to them. This is one. What makes it so difficult for me is remembering how I felt when I wrote this. Although I acknowledge here that Jeff’s future remained uncertain, I really did believe, indeed I felt certain, that he would beat the disease, and that this story would have a happy ending. My heart breaks knowing that Jeff and I, who felt so hopeful then, were all too soon to have those hopes dashed, and that his death was one of many profound losses in store for me. I thank God I had no idea what the future would bring.
Still, even back then I had looked up information to find out what happened to Yolen’s husband, who inspired her hopeful poem about “other springs.” Like Jeff, he had a few springs yet to live after this poem was published, but he too succumbed to one of the most vicious diseases known to modern medicine. Did Yolen ever look back on this poem with the same desolation that I feel now in my heart when I read this?
The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
A harmony in autumn
The yearly Autumn Moon Festival celebrates the season with fitting grandeur.
Chinatown, San Francisco, September 2003
“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!” — Percy Bysshe Shelley
If I was absolutely forced to choose a favorite season, it would be autumn. Even its name is more beautiful in my ears than the names of the other seasons. It’s a whirl of exciting events: the beginning of a new school year for many of us, the coming of fun holidays that call up our creative and decorative talents as no other season does, the delicious cooling of the weather, drawing us back to the kitchen to bake our favorites and spend time with loved ones.
In San Francisco’s Chinatown, the Autumn Moon Festival begins today. It is celebrated yearly with seemingly as much color and enthusiasm as the better-known Lunar New Year. It seems a fitting way to begin the parade of festivities that will follow all over the USA, across many regions and cultures. As the leaves turn to crimson, orange and gold, and the scent of fireside merriment is in the air, we feel an awakening of the spirit that renders us more than ready to bid farewell to summer’s joys.
What do you love best about autumn? Do you decorate, bake, or do anything traditional each year to mark the beginning of this lovely season? I hope you will be able to get outside this week, while the temperatures are still warm but the unmistakable touch of fall is there to energize and refresh you.
This post was first published seven years ago today. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
Defeat Despair 