So much faster
Grady handles his suitcase like a seasoned pro. August 2, 2018
“They outgrow us so much faster than we outgrow them.” – Jodi Picoult
Drew and Grady flew in to see us on Matt’s birthday. I had not seen Grady in nine months, and during that time he went from a somewhat precocious four year old to a very mature five year old. His birthday is a few days before Matt’s, so we had a joint party for the two of them.
Grady already has been in public school full time for an entire year, having been selected at random for a pilot program enrolling preschoolers in full time classes at the local elementary school. Although he recently started kindergarten for the first time, he’s accustomed to being at school all day.
He is not shy, but like his father and grandfather, he’s not particularly chatty. He did tell me proudly that he knows how to take pictures “with any kind of camera.” Thus I was able to indulge in one of my favorite activities, taking pictures of other people taking pictures. This one, of course, is extra-special. This was the first time Drew or Grady had ever been at Jeff’s grave with Matt or me.
Grady photographed Drew and Matt at Jeff’s grave.
Grady also enjoyed working a jigsaw puzzle of the USA that belonged to Matt many years ago. He liked it so well that he chose to work it again the next day, preferring that activity to going back to the swimming pool. When I asked him questions, rather than blurting out an answer quickly, he usually thought a moment before responding, often qualifying his response with a parallel reflection.
I really enjoyed having the chance to spend some time with him, and though I would have loved to see Owen too, I was more able to focus on Grady instead of dividing my time between the two of them. Since they spent only two nights with us, it was a short visit to begin with, and each moment with him was precious.
In that regard, as with so much else in my life (really everything, it seems to me now), I am consciously choosing to see whatever blessings and advantages I can find in what remains a pretty dismal picture. I might be determined to defeat despair, but I’m also a fundamentally honest person and I can’t lie about how hard it still is to get through each and every day.
But as the old saying goes, time flies whether you’re having fun or not. So I’m determined to keep having as much fun as I can– or the closest thing that passes for fun in this harsh, still-new existence– and no matter what else is going on, a grandson is certainly a magnificent gift. Sons are pretty special, too.
This post was first published seven years ago today. Just recently, I’ve begun to become re-acquainted with my grandsons, and I’m happy to get to know them again.
The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, below. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
- Posted in: Uncategorized
- Tagged: absence, aging, bittersweet, childhood, children, distance, family, grandmothers, growing up, life, sons, visits
Defeat Despair 
The airport shot is one of my all-time favorites! Most heartwarming news to hear of the reconnection!
Love to you & Matt
Thank you, Mary Ann. I still don’t see much of any of them, but it’s better than being totally disconnected. Thanks for caring! ❤
Dear Julia, I’m so pleased you are seeing more of your grandsons as they grow so quickly. My three grandchildren are now all at school. Dexter, 13 (a year older than Grady?) Zeke, 8 and Aria 7. Zeke is my son’s child, and they live in Mumbai. The family spent 6 weeks here earlier this year. Dexter and Aria live about an hour and a half away in the Northern Beaches area, north of Sydney CBD across the Harbour Bridge. I mainly only see them during school holidays. I love them all dearly and really the two youngest could be my great grandchildren as my son and daughter married later. As I’m nearing my 85th birthday every moment spent with them and family is precious. My oldest daughter is in the process of completing her Doctorate thesis. She turns 60 in January. She lives in the Southern Highlands in a tiny village with her partner on 5 acres of bushland. Anyway, Julia, I hope you continue to be in contact with your grandsons and Family, it helps brighten your life which certainly hasn’t been easy. Best wishes and love, Dorothy🙂🌺💞
Hi Dorothy, it is always a joy to hear from you. Thanks for bringing me up to date on your family. And congratulations on your upcoming 85th birthday! What will your daughter’s thesis be about? I was encouraged to see so many of the “over 55” crowd at Oxford a few weeks ago. Still many more young people than we who were more experienced 😀 but enough of my age group that I didn’t feel out of place there. A friend and I are tentatively planning a cruise in early 2026. It will sail from Sydney so I hope to spend at least a couple of days in NSW before sailing. Is there any chance we could meet up somewhere? I’ll email you as the time draws nearer…meanwhile, thanks for being here, and for staying in touch! ❤
Good morning, Julia!
I’m so happy that you are becoming reacquainted with your grandsons!
I had been praying for this, and for it to happen sooner rather than later.
Love to you all!
Susan, thanks for those prayers. It will certainly be a gradual reconnection, and I’m not sure how it will play out. I’m always aware of that ticking clock, equally short time remaining for childhood and old age! But any positive connection, however slight, is better than none. Thanks for caring! ❤