From hand to hand
The cards are beautiful, but the handwritten notes inside are what matter most.
“I’ve always felt there is something sacred in a piece of paper that travels the earth from hand to hand, head to head, heart to heart.” ―
During the third semester of my PhD program in Communications (from which I withdrew at the end of that semester, due to uncertainty about Matt’s schedule and whether I would have anyone available to help with his care), I did a qualitative research project about sending traditional handwritten cards, notes and letters through postal mail. The research involved hours of interviews with people from all over the USA and at least two other countries. It was fun and fascinating to talk to others who felt, as I do, that there’s something special about getting personal communication delivered by the post office.
One theme that emerged in several interviews, one that I don’t remember ever having thought of myself, was the special bond the receiver felt in holding a letter that had been in the hands of the sender. It was almost as if the letter served as a link joining the touch of hands across the miles. When I read Pyle’s quote, I thought of those interviews and the many people who voiced the same thought.
Interestingly, that research paper reinforced my decision to quit school. I realized that I’d much rather spend time writing actual letters, than reading and writing ABOUT writing letters. That one paper was a great experience, but the best part about it was that it fed my enthusiasm for sending postal mail.
Laura Vandekam’s podcast “Before Breakfast” recently featured a program encouraging listeners to send handwritten notes. Since her program is often career-focused, prioritizing efficiency, this episode jumped out at me. The emphasis on handwritten notes was not something I typically associate with time management strategies. But as she explains, “I bet a handwritten note creates at least ten times the impression of an email. But it doesn’t take ten times as long to write.” She goes on to give hints on how to incorporate the habit of writing handwritten notes into one’s schedule without consuming too much time. “I promise it will be worth your time,” she says, “because guess what? People are a good use of time. And handwriting notes is a good way to show people that they matter.”
I agree with her completely, but I confess I don’t do nearly as well at this as I would like. Still, I’m inspired by others who do. Despite this being an online community, many of you have made the effort to contact me via postal mail with cards and letters I treasure, some of which have come from faraway places I dream of visiting, such as Wales. As Vandekam describes in her podcast, when I see handwritten correspondence in my stack of mail, it’s an instant day-brightener and I often want to open it first (though sometimes I save it as a reward for slogging through the boring stuff). So it’s extra-fun for me to post notes to others, hoping to share at least a bit of the joy I feel when I receive one.
I find that writing notes and letters is an amazingly calming, mood-lifting experience. I like to use pretty stationery (or make some cards myself) and I have a lot of fun with stickers and pretty postal stamps, but none of these things are necessary. As Winnie the Pooh supposedly said, “It doesn’t take a lot of pencil to show a friend you care.”
Today, or this week, I hope you will make time to send a note in the mail to someone who would love to hear from you. And I’ll make an offer I’ve made here before: If you, or anyone you know, would like a handwritten note from me, just send your postal address to me at defeatdespair@verizon.net, and I’ll be happy to send you one! I’ll guard your address and I promise not to post it here or give it to anyone else. I’ll even enclose a tea bag if you tell me what kind you like! I’ll have fun sending it, so if you want me to send it, it will be a win-win.
Whether from me or from someone else, I hope this week will bring you a special piece of mail that has traveled the earth from someone else’s hands, head and heart, to end up in yours!
This post was first published seven years ago today. Less than a year later (January 2020, to be exact) I joined an online group called Postcrossing, through which people all over the world send each other postcards. Little did I know what a lifeline that would become during the Covid shutdown that arrived within weeks. Through this wonderful group, I’ve found many pen friends all over the world. While I was stuck home during the harrowing weeks following my catastrophic fall and facial injury in 2022, I was surprised by dozens of handmade, handwritten cards from my forum group there, encouraging me and cheering my recovery. I’ve now sent over 1500 cards through this site, and gotten an equal or greater number in return. It has become my favorite hobby and a confirmation of everything I wrote here before I dreamed of what Postcrossing would bring to my life.
The blog is not designed for viewing on cell phones, but you can get a less distorted version of the photos if you click on the “view on blog” link at the top right of the screen. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, at the individual post views. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.
- Posted in: Uncategorized
- Tagged: friendship, communication, letters, correspondence, cards, mail, postal service, stamps, handwritten notes, stationery
Defeat Despair 
Good morning, Julia!
What a warm and rosey photo that is. Did you take it?
I remember you telling me about Postcrossing when you started getting involved. I’m so glad it has become such a rewarding activity for you.
I also agree with the comment regarding knowing that the letter you’re holding was formerly in the hands of the sender. I may have told you of my disappointment when one of my child sponsorship organizations started sending colored copies of the child’s original letter. The site in the child’s county would scan in the original and send the electronic file to their US headquarters which would print it off and send it from within the US to save postage.
I do remember as a younger person I’d read about perfumed letters and tried sending some letters I’d squirted with a fragrance, to add another dimension to a mailed correspondence. It’s probably not as meaningful as someone receiving a letter faintly scented with the sender’s signature fragrance. Still, it was fun, and free to add – no additional postage needed!
I hope that by now your syncope experience and and consequent medical procedures are all a thing of the past and you’re able to enjoy a more normal life again. Whatever normal is, and i hope and pray all the best for you!
Hi Susan! Yes, I did take the photo. I share your disappointment that letters to “my” sponsored children started coming via digitally sent, printed and mailed copies. But knowing how relatively expensive postage is in these other countries, where every cent saved can provide more services for the children, I understand. I did recently contact the administrators of my sponsorship about this. They assured me that my actual letters (pitifully few, I confess) do reach the children; the agency makes copies for their own files, but sends the originals on. So at least that magic is preserved in at least one direction. When I found that out, I resolved to write all of my children, but so far, have not gotten around to it. You know what they say about good intentions…
I’m thankful that I still receive the printed versions in the mail, as I so rarely go onto the website to read the digital versions, which are also sent that way.