Something absolutely new

Drew on the day he was born, March 1984

Drew on the day he was born, March 1984

“The moment a child is born,
the mother is also born.
She never existed before.
The woman existed, but the mother, never.
A mother is something absolutely new.”
— Rajneesh (Osho)

As most readers know, I normally schedule these posts well in advance, usually by about two weeks.  However, today I am making an exception and preempting tomorrow’s scheduled post in favor of this one, which I’m writing as I sit in the waiting room of the hospital where I am awaiting the birth of our first grandchild.  He is to be a son, as was our first child, whose newborn baby picture appears above.

As a disclaimer: I’m no fan of the teachings of Rajneesh (also known as Osho, whom I’ve quoted before).  While he had some ideas to which I take strong exception, he also had quite a way with words. And perhaps no quote I’ve seen recently more accurately captures the experience of becoming a parent (I think the father is also something absolutely new).

Babies change their parents as nothing else can.  The formerly carefree will experience anxiety at levels previously unknown — as will the already anxious.  Those who were impatient are about to be immersed in the grueling curriculum of the School of Learning to Put Up with Stuff.  And those who were happy before are about to forget how they could have possibly been content (or busy) without these new creatures who suddenly take up most of the real estate inside their hearts and minds.

If things go as planned, by the time you read this, I’ll have experienced being a grandparent for the first time.  I’m told it’s the real payoff for all those years of diapers, delights, disputes and departures.  What do you think?  Those of you who are grandparents, share your best advice with us in the comments below!

42 Comments

  1. Eric

    I want to be among the first to herald the arrival of Grady (same face, but less hair). Because part of the inspiration for his name comes from famous Atlantan, Henry W. Grady, I hope in 17 or 18 years young Grady attends my Alma mater, that Grady was instrumental in its founding. I must add that I am glad Henry Grady’s middle name was not incorporated in the baby’s name – it would have topped that of Richard M. Nixon – Woodfin

    • Eric, I had no idea that Henry Grady helped to start Georgia Tech. If Grady has the same kind of interests as his paternal grandfather (science, not humanities) he actually might end up at Tech. It’s one of the best educational bargains in the country; normally ranks right below MIT but at less than half the price.

  2. Mike Bertoglio

    There is a quote from Scott Simon’s mom who has been in the ICU on viewing the new Royal baby of Kate and prince w. ,” Every new born boy is a King to his parents.” Also to the grandparents- I would add.

    • Last Christmas, Drew and Megan gave us a comedy video (I was playing Norman Cousins and prescribing therapeutic laughter for Jeff) and the title of the video is “King Baby.” We haven’t had the chance to watch it, but I guess we’ve been saving it until now! Thanks for sharing that cute quote.

  3. Sheila

    Good morning to the Denton family, and I hope that includes Grady now. I am so hopeful the baby is here and have already said a prayer for his well being. It is life changing! I am so excited for each of you. Love, Sheila

    • Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers, Sheila…they are much needed and greatly appreciated, as always!

  4. Not yet a “Grandma” but so happy that you are!!! Have a wonderful time with that baby. I am sure he will bring much to life for you and Jeff. Congratulations to all. I also am sure that Matt will be a wonderful uncle and will love that role in his life. God bless.

    • Matt gave the baby a onesie that says “my uncle ROCKS!” He is the baby’s only biological uncle (Paul is an honorary uncle), so Matt will have that role all to himself. When we first learned Megan was pregnant, Drew started talking about Uncle Matt. I could only say “Uncle Matt…the mind boggles.” I know he will be so excited to see Grady.

  5. Lani (Morgan) Beagle

    Julia, I have never heard that quote, but I think it is most definitely descriptive of the feelings on the day one becomes a parent. A totally different feeling develops as grandparent, for me anyway. No anxiety, worry, or stress, no self-doubt, or ruminations of ‘what ifs’. Just enjoyment. Just wonder. Just contentment that all is well. I hope all these feelings are yours as well and you have an entire day of pure joy. Hugs to you and yours, Lani

    • Lani, you have described it to a T. It’s definitely lots of unencumbered fun. The little guy has his own personality already. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 🙂

  6. How wonderful Julia, congratulations to all of you. My sister-ilaw had my first nephew at 18. I can’t really imagine that today. It must be a mix of emotions, a bit scared but so exciting too. Have a beautiful day with your new grandson xoK

    • Wow, I can’t imagine that either; I had my first one at 27 and that was soon enough! It’s way less scary to be a grandmother, and loads of fun!

  7. Ryan

    Congratulations to all the Dentons! Glad to hear the birth went well and we’ve got a happy, healthy, bouncing baby boy!

    • Ryan, I have such fond memories of waiting for your birth. It seemed as if it took forever. I was in college then, and every day I’d walk into class and one of my classmates would say “is it soup yet?” which was a Campbell’s commercial at the time. It seemed as if I was saying “NO” for a very long time! Babies are great fun!

  8. Lynn

    Oh yes! Those of you grandparents please share today! I too shall be a new one in very early 2103. A grandmother — new! Julia a whole new world awaits you today!

    • Congratulations, Lynn – did you mean 2013 or 2014? Be sure to keep me posted and send photos! 🙂

  9. Too be honest with you…Grandparenting just leaves you breathless! There are times I feel like I can’t catch my breath for the love of the first grandchild…it changes you like no one else can. May the time with this new grandson be as blessed as mine has been.

    • Thanks so much! I love hearing things like this. I can’t wait to watch Grady grow – he already seems unique so that must be the Grandmother wiring lighting up! 🙂

  10. kjyaccino

    Drew was a beautiful newborn!!
    I love your blog today; how true that our babies changed us, as nothing else could! You may experience a renewal of that with the arrival of your grandson and you enter another “absolutely new”. Anxious to hear your news!

    • Thanks Kathy! Many updates to follow, I’m sure.

  11. Carolyn

    Congratulations and just enjoy your special gift. I will write more later.

    • Thank you, Carolyn!

  12. Ellis Anderson

    I am so very thrilled for you all!!!! Please share pics and more details as soon as possible!

    • Thanks, Ellis- I just uploaded some pics taken late last night; they are at the top under the heading “Grady’s page.”

  13. Aww! Yeah!!! Here’s wishing you joy and i’m praying for a safe, quick delivery.

    • Thanks Jena, see Grady’s page (linked above) for photos! Aloha!

  14. Bobby Harris

    I never believed in “love at first sight” until my first sight of my grandsons, then something happens like happened to the Grinch when his heart grew three sizes. Congratulations and blessings on the new baby.

    • Bobby, I love that description. It’s so wonderful what babies can do to even the most sensible person. I can’t wait for Jeff to see the baby. If he is like me, he will think “this little guy is so COOL!” :-).

  15. Beautiful quote and oh, how true. Congratulations, Julia. I came to motherhood later in life, giving birth to my sons at 37 and 40 so grand parenting is a ways off. I wish I had read your blog back then. It’s so true!

    • Hey Alys, 37 is the new 20, so you’re just now at the perfect age. Actually, ANY age is the perfect age for a grandchild. 🙂

  16. merry

    Congratulations!! Julia & Jeff and Uncle Matt.

    • Thank you Merry! Hope you are doing well. I appreciate your visits here!

  17. Congratulations!!
    (I love the quote, btw)
    😉

    • Hi Denise, thanks so much! When I read that quote, I just thought HOW TRUE! I’m so happy you like it too!

  18. Nancy

    I read Psalm 127:3-5 at one of my son’s Adoption Ceremony, Julia, Jeff, Drew and Megan. It speaks volumes of the love we have for our children and the love God has for His children. I look at each of my sons and marvel at the love the Father had for us that He gave His Son for us. Blessings to all of you as you cherish this new one.

    • Thank you Nancy! The years will fly by and before we know it, I’ll be congratulating you on your grandchild! I remember hearing a father quoting that verse years ago; he and his wife had 6 children, three of whom they adopted and three who were born to them. Your sons are so lucky to have you as their Mom. Be sure to give them a hug for me! Love to all of you.

      • Nancy

        Given that I’ll be 60 in December and they are 8, 10 and 12…well, James will be 13 in couple weeks ( I have a teenager!), I may be living my grandmother years now!

        • Nancy, the time will be here before you know it and i’m sure you’ll be a spry and lively grandmother! Just look at you now! I don’t know anyone older than I am who could do such a great job with three active young men. Blessings to you all – I am so happy your sons were able to find a forever family!

  19. Congratulations! You are becoming new too.

    • Thank you! You know, I think you are right about that! 🙂 Thanks so much for being here!

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