The dew of little things

Matt and I enjoyed the refreshment of being with friends on a hot summer day.
With Jena and her brother Andy at the Michie Tavern, Monticello, July 2019

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”― Kahlil Gibran

I have always appreciated this particular passage from Gibran’s work, because it has proven true in my own life for as long as I can remember. Whether one is navigating a particularly difficult phase of life, or enjoying relatively happy years, no grand event or special occasion can surpass the simple pleasure of a heart-to-heart chat with a trusted and reliable friend. During times of grief and stress, such everyday sharing is an anchor for the soul.

Jena and I first connected through this blog. We quickly found that we shared much in common, including our faith, our love of writing in general and poetry in particular, and a special fondness for all things related to tea. Jena also is a gifted visual artist who takes the time to share some of her work with me via our digital correspondence, and we occasionally swap videos via Marco Polo, along with corresponding by postal mail.

Despite her exceptionally busy life as a teacher, writer, artist, wife, sister, daughter, and various leadership roles related to her professional talents, she manages to stay in close touch, encouraging me in countless thoughtful ways. She makes the effort to initiate contact with me at least as often as I reach out to her, so I don’t feel as if I’m the only one who has anything to gain from the friendship.  There’s a nice reciprocity to our exchanges, and that’s a trait that has been especially important to me in the years since Jeff’s death, when I’ve sometimes grown resentful of having to be the one doing all the asking of others.

Remarkably, though Jena lives in faraway Alaska, we have managed to be together in person once every year for the past three years, and even took a trip together. As others who connected by blogging have observed, when we get together face-to-face it is as if we have always known each other, because the foundation of the friendship is already in place. I guess that love of writing pays unexpected dividends sometimes!

I am so grateful that, whenever Jena is planning to come to the eastern USA for business reasons, she gives me plenty of notice so that we can plan times and places to get together. Our first such meeting came during a particularly difficult time after Jeff’s death, when it appeared that Matt was going to lose all of his disability services and supports, and I had no idea how we would cope.

“Refreshed” is a perfect description for how I felt after being able to meet Jena face to face for the first time, to chat and laugh and drink tea together in person after years of corresponding. The simple joy of sitting in a cafe together was a balm for all the trials and worries and grief. Sometimes, a little bit of lighthearted fun can go a long way to defeating despair.

Do you have friends who share their lives with you on a regular basis, adding to your joy and pulling you away from whatever might be troubling you? If so, I hope that you will stay close to them over the years. The investment of time in friendship involves the discipline of being there for another person, even when you might be busy or simply not in the mood. But whatever you sow in the garden of friendship, you will reap tenfold as your enduring affection will be repaid abundantly in ways you cannot now foresee.

This post was first published seven years ago today. I’m thankful to say that Jena’s friendship has remained steadfast through those years, despite her demanding schedule becoming even more complicated. Not long after this post first appeared, she celebrated marriage to a wonderful man, as well as the publication of books by both her and her husband. Despite all the promotional events and travel related to these accomplishments, and to their full time jobs as teachers, she has never been too busy to stay in touch and let me know she cares. In 2024, I was thrilled to visit them in person in Alaska, where they traveled with me to various areas of their home state, showed me countless wonderful sights and shared many cups of tea and talk with me. They gave me unforgettable memories of joy that carried me through the heartache that was to come later that year with my sister’s unexpected death. 

The blog is not designed for viewing on cell phones, but you can get a less distorted version of the photos if you click on the “view on blog” link at the top right of the screen. The original post, comments and photo are linked, along with two other related posts, at the individual post views. These links to related posts, and their thumbnail photos, do not appear in the blog feed; they are only visible when viewing the individual posts by clicking on each one. I have no idea why, nor do I know how they choose the related posts. That’s just the way WordPress does things.

7 Comments

  1. Sheila's avatar
    Sheila

    Good morning Julia, on this warmer than usual September morning. I loved reading of your friend visiting you on the east coast but even more that you were able to go to Alaska. Bill and I went to Vancouver and Anchorage and in between on the inner passage cruise that provided beautiful scenery and lovely little ports. I’ve enjoyed sharing our Verandah friendship so very much, and it refreshes me time and again. I’m so sorry for the loss of Carla and the grief you experience even now. Caring thoughts cross the miles,Sheila

    • Julia's avatar

      Hi Sheila,

      What has been up with this September heat? I relished the relative “cool” of 81 degrees yesterday, enough so that I went out and did some badly needed weeding in my flowerbeds. This morning I’m sitting in those far too comfy chairs on our Verandah. I’m tempted to sit in that swing, but I’d spill my coffee (at nearly 70, I need one cup of coffee before I start in on my all-day tea drinking). I think of you far more often than you know. Or as my my beloved and sadly now late friend Ashleigh Brilliant has said, “You’ll never know how much I appreciate you, because I’ll probably never tell you.” 😀 Consider this my attempt to tell you now!

      Love to you and Bill, with loving memories of all our dearly departed “critters” too! Sometimes I can still hear Walter chirping at me…”Juia, stop lazing around and get on with the day.”

      • Sheila's avatar
        Sheila

        Well Juia, make my day!😂AND don’t you know autocorrect tried to tell me that’s not the correct way to spell JULIA! I beg to differ! Love and early morning smiles cross the miles! Sheila

  2. suzypax's avatar

    Good morning, Julia! I’m so glad you have Jena in your life. Your posts on friendships are always so positive and encouraging.

    Must of my friends aren’t local to me now, which is hard. So I appreciate your mentioning ways that you stay in touch with distant friends.

    I certainly own enough stamps as to have no excuse for not writing!

    • Julia's avatar

      Hi Susan,

      Friendships have ALWAYS been a very important part of my life! As for postal mail, I’m more convinced than ever that it’s sorely needed. And using all the pretty stamps is one of my favorite things about postal mail! They just issued a new set of stamps of my beloved hero, and they are ALREADY SOLD OUT, though the reissued ones are still available.

      Mister Rogers was a ‘wildly popular’ choice

      Mr. Rogers Stamps

      • suzypax's avatar

        Oooh I can see why they sold out. I’d want to buy a sheet to save and a sheet (or more) to share!

        • Julia's avatar

          Yes. Considering how quickly the first issues sold out years ago (I went to literally 6 post offices, some on the first day it issued, and all were sold out) I’m surprised they did not anticipate the demand enough to print more of this new issue. Maybe it will come “back by popular demand” as the first issue did. Aside from George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and a few other presidents and icons of history, I think he’s one of the few people to have more than one stamp issued in his honor. The subculture of his ardent fans remains strong, perhaps because his message is more needed now than ever before.

Thanks for encouraging others by sharing your thoughts: