Delicious
This is a favorite part of my walk anytime, but especially in fall. Yorktown, November 2008
“Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.” — George Eliot
The scene pictured above is one of my favorite places in our neighborhood. There is a pond just to the left, where you can’t see it in the photo, but one hardly notices it for the trees that are beautiful all year round. They look gorgeous in spring when they flower, and cool and shady with green in the summer, but I love them best in the fall.
Eliot wouldn’t have to be a bird to fly nowadays, but she probably couldn’t seek successive autumns even if she was still on earth today. She’d likely be too busy with the responsibilities of day-to-day life to indulge her fall fantasies. But she could fly about in cyberspace for a few minutes every day, and hear about the delights of the season all over the world.
It’s fun to reflect on her words and realize that the magic of autumn has captivated human hearts and minds for hundreds of years. If you identify with Eliot’s love of this season, pull up an imaginary chair and have a chat with her about what she might see if she could visit your home during her favorite time of year. She has left behind some vivid descriptions of fall for us to enjoy. Your turn now!
One year ago today:
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These four words
Grady and Matt are a mutual admiration society. Dam Neck, Virginia, June 2014
“I bring you the gift of these four words: I believe in you.” — Blaise Pascal
I might never have met you face to face. In fact, I may not even know who you are, or that you are reading this blog at all. But I still believe in you.
I believe in you because I believe each and every person is created in the image of God, and capable of beautiful deeds. I believe that everybody can play an important role in this world, no matter what their past has been like. I believe it is never too late to come back from defeat, discouragement or despair. I believe that there are others who believe in you too, people who are more immediately present in your life, though you may not recognize or know about them.
All of us need the comfort and encouragement that can only come from people who believe in us. If you feel bereft of this important support, I urge you to seek, pray and be open to it. It may not come from the sources where you wish to find it. But if you seek with faith, you will discover it. I really believe that.
One year ago today:
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They have the best
“A dog riding the bicycle” by Takato Marui, Osaka, Japan.
Via Wikimedia Commons, Licensed under CCA 2.0
“Everyone thinks they have the best dog. And none of them are wrong.”
— W.R. Purche
Years ago I saw an adorable cartoon that showed a little puppy excitedly informing his friends, “Guess what everyone? I am the world’s best dog! My human just broke the news!” The older dogs are looking at one another with awkward expressions and one says, “Who wants to tell him?” I searched the internet in vain for that cartoon. I really wanted to share a link to it here, because it went so perfectly with this quote.
I couldn’t find any information on W. R. Purche, either, except links to this quote. It would appear that he or she is known mainly for having said or written that thought. Aside from possibly substituting the word “pet” or “animal companion” for the world “dog,” I would have to say it’s definitely true. I know we had the world’s best dog, and I bet you did too, if you were fortunate enough to have one. If not, maybe you have the world’s best cat or bird or hamster or turtle. Lucky us!
One year ago today:
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Be the navigator
From the family archives, a photo of Daddy in flight training sometime in the mid -1960s.
“Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.” — Robert Orben
Though our circumstances differ, and some of us have more opportunities than others, each of us has the power to determine how we will react to the externals we cannot control. We plan our lives much as a navigator plots a course of travel by land or sky or sea, always knowing the path may be altered by unexpected events.
We’re lucky to have at hand a variety of resources to help us make sound decisions: documented absolutes and laws, instruments that give us a fairly reliable set of readings, and stories of those who have gone before us on the route we choose to take. If we are wise, we will pay attention to the cumulative experiences of people who have tried and failed, as well as the ones who succeeded. We will understand that preparation is a continual process.
Most of us are fortunate in having fellow crew members with us on the journey. Our opinions about how to handle crisis may differ, but we are reassured to know that when troubles arise, we will not be alone.
Still, none of these assets can relieve us of the responsibility of making the best of our limited time on earth. Difficulties will sometimes frustrate us into thinking that time is dragging, but in reality, it never is. Time really does fly, whether we are having fun or not. Let’s do another instrument check, and keep those maps at hand. We’ll be there before we know it.
One year ago today:
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A kind of introduction
Carla poses with soldiers from the War of 1812, Ft. McHenry, Baltimore, August 2010.
“History is a kind of introduction to more interesting people than we can possibly meet in our restricted lives; let us not neglect the opportunity.” — Dexter Perkins
It’s not surprising that the people who tend to show up in history books are interesting types. But as I’ve often said here, I think everybody is interesting, when you look closely enough. Many everyday people who lived in generations past would be fascinating to talk with today.
I appreciate the way historical parks and museums have become so much more interactive. Costumed docents and interpretive staff members lend a touch of drama and an air of authenticity that helps us feel we have stepped back in time. Some of these people are amazing in their ability to stay in character for the time they represent. I imagine that many of them have some degree of theatrical training in addition to their knowledge of the era.
Often there are look-alike actors playing famous individuals from history, but most of these costumed staff are playing the roles of ordinary people: shopkeepers, soldiers, farmers, school children. It’s fun to talk with them and pose for (anachronistic) photos with them. I’ve “met” Thomas Jefferson, Queen Elizabeth I, Charles Dickens and Lewis Carroll, among many others, but some of the most engaging people I’ve met are typical citizens whose names are not often found in the history books.
We have so many opportunities, in reading books or visiting historical sites, to be introduced to unforgettable characters from other worlds. I hope you will not pass up the chance to get acquainted with some of those who helped shape our past.
One year ago today:
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Autumn has seized the countryside
Our neighbors’ yards are particularly beautiful in the fall. Yorktown, Virginia, October 2008
“The magic of autumn has seized the countryside; now that the sun isn’t ripening anything it shines for the sake of the golden age…” ― Elizabeth Coatsworth
I would miss so much if I didn’t get out and walk. This neighbor’s yard, like so many, would be harder to appreciate through the windshield of a car. Walking by it allows me to rejoice in how stunning a picture it makes. Having a camera allows me to catch it and enjoy it again later.
As autumn seizes the countryside, I hope you will seize the moments of this golden age and save them, in memory or in snapshots. Feel free to send us some photos or word pictures of what fall is like in your neighborhood.
One year ago today:
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Defiance of the contemporary
One dreary January day, I received a beautifully wrapped surprise from faraway Canada.
Boomdee knows how to say “I care” better than any monetary extravagance ever could.
The gift of time via a handmade creation is precious indeed! January 2014
“A hobby is a defiance of the contemporary. It is an assertion of those permanent values which the momentary eddies of social evolution have contravened or overlooked. If this is true, then we may also say that every hobbyist is inherently a radical, and that his tribe is inherently a minority.” – Aldo Leopold
This quote from Leopold was so intriguing that I had to give it a lot of thought. I started to think of my own hobbies; reading, writing, crafts, gardening, photography, correspondence with friends and relatives. All have increasingly little place in what contemporary society deems necessary or efficient.
Most hobbies represent facets of life that are necessary, but are more commonly met in more “efficient” institutional or minimal ways. But mass industrialized farming is not the same thing as gardening or hunting. Photographs taken purely for fun are different from those taken for financial gain, and the reading or writing of business or commercial copy is not the sort of writing I think of as a hobby.
Do you have a hobby? Is there anything you do that is done for the pleasure and benefit of yourself or someone else, in defiance of what is commonly thought of as an effectively time-managed method of accomplishing a similar outcome? If so, you are (at least according to Leopold) a radical in the best sense of the word. I like to think that I, too, am a member of the minority that constitutes this tribe.
I think of the beautiful crocheted items that Dani produces. Certainly blankets could be manufactured much more cheaply and quickly, but could they ever hold the love and beauty that she puts into each gift she makes?
I think of Alys and her gardens, or Pauline and her artwork, or the many readers of this blog who have other interests that require time and discipline. Some prefer biking to automobile travel. Some prefer cooking for loved ones to eating in restaurants. Some prefer harvesting their own wild game by hunting, rather than buying packaged meats in the supermarket. Some enjoy communicating daily via encouraging words, to people whom they have never met (thank you, Sheila and others who comment here frequently).
All are acting in defiance of the unspoken laws of society that say: That takes too much time. That isn’t worth the effort. People are too busy to keep in touch. Nobody sends cards and letters via postal mail anymore. It costs more to grow your own food than to buy it at the grocery store. Why waste so much time on something that might not be fully appreciated?
On and on the subliminal or overt messages of the naysayers go, sometimes provoking guilt in us for spending time on that which they might see as unnecessary. These negative messages are generated in no small part by those who want to sell us on empty entertainment to fill the void that is left when we abandon mindful enjoyment of wholesome recreation.
In some circles, online communities are increasingly referred to as “tribes,” but long before there was such a thing as online social media, Leopold identified a tribe that is present in full force, both online and in the unplugged world. It is a tribe of radicals, to which you probably belong: those who “just say no” to the pressure to do everything in the fastest, cheapest, shallowest way possible. Despite what some might think, I believe our numbers are growing, and the world will be better for it.
One year ago today:
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It is all there
Drew looks out on London from the Tate Modern, August 2005.
“London has the trick of making its past, its long indelible past, always a part of its present. And for that reason it will always have meaning for the future, because of all it can teach about disaster, survival, and redemption. It is all there in the streets. It is all there in the books.” ― Anna Quindlen
I think Quindlen captures London perfectly in this quote. For me, to visit London was to fall in love with history all over again. I felt, as in no other place, the real and immediate connection the past has to the present and future.
Growing up in a country where two centuries ago seems age-old history, and living where almost all of the homes are younger than I am, it’s easy to get a skewed idea of the relevance of the distant past.
That error seems less likely in London, where the atmosphere is unmistakably alive and modern, but the surroundings bear traces of bygone centuries that go as far back, in some places, as the rule of ancient Rome. After a week of touring London, I had to laugh at myself, because I had begun to see anything built after 1500 or so as relatively recent.
When you hear the term “historic,” what era first comes to mind? Are there any places near you that remind you of eras that seem mostly forgotten by people today?
One year ago today:
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Bright and demanding
It was hard to ignore this shop on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, September 2013.
“She liked anything orange: leaves; some moons; marigolds; chrysanthemums; cheese; pumpkin, both in pie and out; orange juice; marmalade. Orange is bright and demanding. You can’t ignore orange things.” — Catherynne M. Valente
Though I’ve never thought of orange as one of my favorite colors, I love the way it brightens this time of year. It’s not a flattering color for many of us to wear, but it looks great on fruit and foliage, and adds a jolt of vivid cheer to the browning landscape.
Here’s hoping your weekend is brightened by your favorite orange things; whether that’s pumpkin, cheese, flowers, OJ, or something not edible at all, such as a lovely orange kitty cat. If Valente is right, we won’t be able to ignore its persistent presence. It’s a yearly promise of festive times ahead.
One year ago today:
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Forgetting where you put it
Miss Piggy approves of fruit, properly prepared, as a healthy dessert choice. Dig in!
Photo by Garry Knight via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 2.0
“Moi does not recommend dieting. The only way you can lose weight is the same way you lose anything – by forgetting where you put it…A very common oversight in most weight-limitation programs is to pay excessive attention to the calories you consume rather than to the enormous numbers of calories you routinely avoid…You can eliminate a lot of calories by entirely cutting out things you hate.” — Miss Piggy
One year ago I posted about various aspects of physical health, including dieting. This year, I thought I would lighten things up a bit (no pun intended) with some dieting advice from that icon of perfection, Miss Piggy. As anyone familiar with her can confirm, Miss Piggy never has to worry about defeating despair. That task is delegated to those who have to put up with her!
Nonetheless, I must admit that I have unintentionally tried all of the tactics she suggests, and I find the last one to be the best approach for me. I no longer eat anything I don’t absolutely love, unless it’s so healthy for me that I can use it to earn indulgences in something that’s so full of sugar, fat or salt as to be borderline toxic.
Do you have any dietary tips of which Miss Piggy would approve? Feel free to share them here. And remember one of her most famous maxims: “Never eat more than you can lift.”
One year ago today:
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What counts
Jeff with college friends and a favorite professor at graduation,
David Lipscomb College (now Lipscomb University), Nashville, Tennessee, June 1980
BONUS TRIVIA QUESTIONS: Can you spot the legendary practical joker? The track stars? The future attorney? The future neuropsychologist? The other future dentists (besides Jeff)? The two who came from the same VERY small town? What subject did the professor teach?
“What counts is what you learn after you know it all.” – Earl Weaver
Sometimes it seems that life is one long series of reaching the top of one hill only to start all over again at the bottom of another one. After awhile, we realize that we never stop needing to learn. Most of us can look back and laugh at younger versions of ourselves, who were laughing at still younger selves and naively thinking we finally had arrived.
How fortunate that we get the know-it-all years behind us relatively early, so we can get on with the more serious business of finding out how to stay flexible and keep discovering fresh information. I remember during our college years, Jeff told me about hearing a theology classmate remark “I knew more when I came in this class than I do today.” That’s a lesson well learned in a variety of disciplines.
What did you learn after you knew it all?
One year ago today:
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The full value of trees
I think Jefferson would be pleased by the trees at Monticello today.
An entire forest of them was behind me where I stood to take this photo in June 2014.
“I never before knew the full value of trees. My house is entirely embosomed in high plane-trees, with good grass below; and under them I breakfast, dine, write, read, and receive my company. What would I not give that the trees planted nearest round the house at Monticello were full grown.” — Thomas Jefferson
Because military families have to relocate frequently, we learn which features we most value when looking for a new home. High on my list — perhaps at the top of it — are trees.
Even in places such as Texas and California, where trees are not as plentiful as they are in the southeast, we managed to have some beautiful ones in our yards, and nearby. Here in Virginia, it’s a bonanza for tree lovers. They are everywhere. We have a HUGE oak in the back yard of our York home that is larger than the tree planted by George Washington that I featured in the post one year ago today. Sometimes I like to imagine young Powhatan natives walking past it when it was a tiny sapling.
There’s a downside to having lots of trees, of course. They require maintenance, some of which has to be hired out at fairly expensive rates, and storms can leave a lot of debris and cleanup, or worse.
One morning after days of steady rain, I had the stunning experience of watching a very tall tree fall across the creek from the neighbor’s yard on the other side. It hit the ground with a loud BOOM and narrowly missed the roof of our detached garage, leaving a section of our back fence in splinters.
Neighbors tell us that Hurricane Isabel uprooted dozens of trees in our immediate vicinity shortly before we moved to Virginia. Our home was among many that needed roof repairs, and even though all those repairs were taken care of before we moved in, Jeff and I spent years clearing fallen trees from our wooded lot behind the yard.
I still think trees are worth the risk and expense. They provide shade to keep things cool in the summer, privacy three seasons of the year, and beautiful leaves in the fall. The birds and squirrels add entertainment, and the sound of the wind in the branches is wonderful to hear.
Do you have favorite trees near your home? What kinds of trees do you like best?
One year ago today:
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A natural affinity
My siblings and I, playing in the Smoky Mountains, sometime in the mid-1960’s
“Children have a natural affinity towards nature. Dirt, water, plants, and small animals attract and hold children’s attention for hours, days, even a lifetime.”
— Robin C. Moore and Herb H Wong
One of the best ways to enjoy nature is to tag along with a child or two. They notice things we have forgotten how to see, and find fascination in what we overlook. Chances are that some of your earliest favorite memories (and probably a few not-so-happy ones) spring from your outdoor explorations.
If you have children, grandchildren or friendly neighborhood kids, try looking at the world through their eyes for a few minutes. Young people teach us in a way that makes learning fun: unintentionally, spontaneously, sometimes accidentally, but guaranteed to be interesting. What did you learn about nature as a child? What do you continue to learn about it from children?
One year ago today:
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We more than gain
These cherries were so lovely I had to photograph them before I ate them! July 2014
“Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.” ― Samuel Butler
Happy first day of fall! I hope this season is full of delightful gifts for you. What do you most look forward to at this time of year? Feel free to share some of your favorite autumnal images.
One year ago today:
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One of those
A perfect September day in Rockport, Maine, 2012
“It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life.” — P.D. James
Perfect autumn days might be more numerous in our memory than in reality., but they can happen anywhere, and they aren’t just about foliage or pumpkins. The photo above was taken on a beautiful September day in New England when the cool weather, sunshine, water and boats were a wonderful change of pace from the heat of the summer we had just endured.
In the southern hemisphere, September heralds the coming of warmer weather. And in tropical climates, fall might mean less heat and humidity, but not falling leaves or fading flowers.
Wherever you are, whatever this time of year looks like in your world, I wish you one of those perfect days you’ll remember often!
One year ago today:
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Outdoors in
I brought Mama this Pineapple Lilly as an early birthday gift, August 2014.
“Bring the outdoors in. Plants make for a happy home.” – Mr Jason Grant
There were a lot of ways my mother created a happy home for us, and one of them was the way she loved plants, indoors and out. She was often joked about spoken of in regard to her composting and organic vegetable gardening, but she always liked plants of all kinds. The longest words in her vocabulary that I can remember were those that were the names of plants.
I grew up hearing about (and enjoying the beauty of) azaleas, rhododendrons, camellias, and magnolias, to name just a few, but the names for the indoor plants were even more exotic: dieffenbachia, schefflera, caladiums, and others I can’t quite remember. She sent me off to college with coleus and philodendron to adorn my dorm room and keep the air fresh. While I was never as good at tending plants as she was, I did find that the plants added a note of cheer to brighten my days.
Recently we were able to make a quick trip to Atlanta, so I took the opportunity to give Mama an early birthday present I can’t usually manage because of the distance: a nice new houseplant that has the potential to live outdoors, if she decides to transplant it. I chose one I had never seen before, but instantly liked: the pineapple lily pictured above. I thought the purple color and unusual blooms would be a novelty among her other growing things.
Do you keep houseplants? If so, what are your favorites? If not, adding a plant to your life might be a great way to brighten your home and improve your health. It may sound wacky, but a number of studies suggest there are measurable benefits in spending time with greenery, including happier moods and enhanced creativity.
Happy Birthday today to my mother, who taught me a lot about how to help all kinds of living things grow!
One year ago today:
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To find the beautiful
Gludgey joins Drew, Matt and Jeff looking out the window of the Coast Starlight.
Santa Barbara County, California, April 1993
“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson
A year ago today I wrote about Drew’s beloved toy raccoon Gludgey, who went along with our family everywhere we traveled. Books, favorite snacks, and comfortable shoes are other things we carried with us wherever we went.
Of course, that’s not what Emerson meant when he talked about carrying the beautiful with us. He wasn’t talking about objects, but the attitude he describes can make these everyday items beautiful to us, even when they are ordinary and worn. When we look past the surface to the substance, we will indeed find beauty wherever we go.
What are some of the tangible and intangible things you carry with you when you travel? How do these things help you find what is beautiful in other landscapes and circumstances?
One year ago today:
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I sit and watch
Trust me: he’s really happy to see you! Jeff in Sint Maarten, March 2010
Oh! ’twas very sad and lonely
When I found myself the only
Population on this cultivated shore;
But I’ve made a little tavern
In a rocky little cavern,
And I sit and watch for people at the door…
Then we gather as we travel,
Bits of moss and dirty gravel,
And we chip off little specimens of stone;
And we carry home as prizes
Funny bugs, of handy sizes,
Just to give the day a scientific tone.
— Charles Edward Carryl (verses from the poem “Robinson Crusoe’s Story“)
I first encountered this delightful poem when I read a brief reference to it in a journal entry by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. When I looked up the poem and read the verse cited first above, I immediately thought of myself and this blog. In a whimsical way that I could never fully explain, it just seemed to fit perfectly.
When I looked for a photo to go with it, though, the one posted above jumped out at me. We came across this interesting little walled enclosure on the island of Sint Maarten (the Dutch side, if I remember correctly), and I begged Jeff to pose there for me, because the structure reminded me so much of him. Mostly private, but occasionally accessible, especially through the eyes. As you can see in the photo, he wasn’t enthusiastic about letting me snap his picture. He never is, but sometimes he humors me.
Whether we are labeled as introverts or extroverts, all of us must sometimes feel the sting of loneliness, countered by the self-protective impulses that cause us to retreat to our “rocky little cavern(s).” But to mix metaphors here, no person is an island, even if (as Ashleigh Brilliant has so aptly said) “some of us are long peninsulas.” I know I watch for people at the door, and I bet you do too.
So now that you are here, come on in! We’d love to know more about you. If you’ve brought any bits of moss or specimens of stone, or funny bugs or whatever you have gathered over the years, please share them with us! Try not to worry too much about wasting a few minutes here today. As Robinson Crusoe learned, anything that can’t be done by Friday probably isn’t all that urgent to begin with. 😀
One year ago today:
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Those moments
The kindness of hospital staff made post-op pain more bearable for Matt and others.
Children’s National Medical Center, Washington, DC, April 2014
“What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering and I responded…sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.” – George Saunders
There’s nothing at all wrong with acting in ways that are sensible, reserved, and mild. But there are times when such demeanor is the result of fear. Fear of getting involved, fear of engendering expectations of future solicitude, fear of being harmed in real or imaginary ways by people of whom we feel unsure.
I’ll bet there are none of us who cannot remember seeing, or being, a school-age child who was treated unkindly by peers. When I look back on the times that persecuted person was me, I remember with tremendous respect those who stood apart from the crowd by refusing to capitulate to mob psychology; the ones who were kind to me for no reason at all, perhaps even catching a bit of jeering themselves in doing so.
When I remember standing by and saying nothing while others were being mistreated, I agree with Saunders; those are among the moments in my past that I most regret. But the fear of being kind extends far past the school years. In a world where stranger danger is not just a phrase we teach our kids, it can be a dilemma to know when and how to show kindness to a suffering person in a way that is not harmful to them or us.
But as the saying goes, “hard cases make bad law.” For every situation where we may feel legitimate reservations about reaching out in kindness, there are dozens more where safety is not the issue; where we are just too tired or preoccupied to concern ourselves with people who may require time and energy we’d rather save for our own interests. It’s true that one can be easily overwhelmed by the magnitude of need around us, and we could easily wear ourselves out (as some do) trying to help everyone but ourselves.
However, looking at my own life and many around me, I think most of us tend to err in the other direction. Sad, really, since thoughtful kindness is a self-sustaining practice that almost always yields high returns on investment, for ourselves and everyone around us.
As we face daily situations at work, home and elsewhere, may we hope and pray for the wisdom to know when it’s time to go beyond sensible, mild reserve, and take a risk — even a small one — to make a difference in the life of a person who is hurting.
One year ago today:
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There is nothing lacking
This beautiful library is filled with symbols of our abundant gifts.
Strahov Theological Hall, Prague, by Jorge Royan, CCA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” — Lao-tzu
It’s a curious paradox that some of the people who have the most possessions never seem to have enough, and some with the least are the most content. It’s too simplistic to say that wealth creates unhappiness (though it often seems to do just that). It might have more to do with the sort of mindset that prioritizes wealth above more important goals.
Chasing after wealth seems to be getting the cart before the horse, though. I really think it starts inside. No matter my circumstances, I find that the more thankful I am, the more I have for which to be thankful. It’s the sort of thing that one has to experience to understand, and the longer one sees this dynamic at work, the stronger its influence on the course of life.
Today, I hope we all are able to start, or continue, a quest to understand that true wealth — which often has nothing to do with money — is within our grasp. I find it a great challenge sometimes to rejoice in the way things are. But I believe it’s the best way to live.
One year ago today:
The world’s largest collection
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Participate relentlessly
Jeff participates in the traditional ritual of “ringing out” on the last day of treatment
in Radiation Oncology at Walter Reed Medical Center, Bethesda MD, September 2013.
“You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.”
– Elizabeth Gilbert
Two years ago today we got the devastatingly bad news nobody ever wants to get, and despite some initial hope that it might not be as fearful as it seemed at first, the prognosis only got worse and worse in the weeks that followed. Yet life went on, and blessings abounded.
Some of them were decidedly mixed blessings, as Jeff endured grueling chemotherapy, side effects, and harrowing surgeries. The toughest one was less than a year ago, in November, a multi-stage resection that lasted 14 hours, after which he was kept asleep until the next morning, and then spent another two hours in the operating room to address complications. As traumatic as these procedures were, they gave him a considerably improved prognosis, and we feel thankful he had the options available.
Every step of the way, we have been mindful of the tremendous advantage we enjoyed in having top-notch health care provided through the military medical system, without fears of catastrophic debt or threatened job security.
We also appreciate the physical strength that Jeff had built through years of a healthy diet and daily exercise. While these did not prevent him from getting a highly malignant cancer, I have no doubt the foundation of generally sound health helped him endure and survive extremely aggressive treatments.
I have been so grateful to Jeff for his understanding of the need to “participate relentlessly” in the blessings that were there for us at a very dark time. Because he has been willing to face the ordeals of treatment, he is now at the 2-year average survival time originally predicted for patients with his diagnosis who started the chemotherapy protocol he began shortly after his stage IV cancer was discovered, and he’s doing much better than originally expected.
Amazingly, he still works full time on days when not in the hospital or receiving outpatient treatments. In this way, too, he participates relentlessly in the life he has lived in faith for so many years. The future remains far from assured, but we take each day as a gift and live in hope for more years together.
If you’re like most people, some of your richest blessings may have been, or still may be, not easily endured. Others will be hidden for years, until you look back and realize that things you were unaware of, or even worried about, were bright threads weaving a beautiful pattern in the tapestry of your life. We may be unable to see the finished designs of our lives for a long time; we’ll see mostly the knots and loose threads.
I hope you won’t let that sidetrack you. Some days will be more difficult than others, but relentless participation does not require our best every day. It just requires faith and commitment. If we keep showing up, the blessings will continue to flow. I really believe that.
One year ago today:
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Dressing herself
Marigolds, zinnias and other showy fall colors bloom in Bar Harbor, Maine, September 2007.
“September is dressing herself in showy dahlias and splendid marigolds and starry zinnias. October, the extravagant sister, has ordered an immense amount of the most gorgeous forest tapestry for her grand reception.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes
I agree with Holmes that the beauty of October is usually more extravagant than the showy displays of September. But this month is a fitting prelude to the grand symphony of colors we look forward to seeing in a few weeks. He didn’t even mention the chrysanthemums that are as much a part of fall as pumpkins and football in most of the USA. I’m already beginning to see them adorn the porches and front steps of homes in our neighborhoods.
Everyone is invited and welcome to attend “the grand reception” that will be taking place all over the northern hemisphere in the next few weeks. Meanwhile, enjoy the colors of September, whatever they may be where you are. What vibrant warmup acts are playing before the weather changes in your part of the world?
One year ago today:
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People together
Australian volunteer Kylie Hinde at the Center for Disability in Development,
Bangladesh, 2011. Photo by Australian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade
via Wikimedia Commons, CC-BY-2.0
“Adversity not only draws people together, but brings forth that beautiful inward friendship.” – Soren Kierkegaard
Working together under difficult circumstances tends to strip away the vacuous and trivial concerns that we are too often preoccupied with, especially in affluent societies. None of us want adversity or crisis, nor do most of us wish it on others. Still, we find there are rewards for perseverance and cooperation when we team up with others to make the best of a challenging situation.
I’ve had the privilege of knowing many people who have donated countless hours of volunteer time working in a variety of demanding contexts, both in their own countries and abroad. There’s a common expression that almost all of them say after such efforts: “I am so glad I had this experience – I will never be the same.” Many return again and again to the people and places that capture their hearts. Relationships forged while working together for a common goal transcend distance, and often last well beyond the initial encounter.
I have great admiration for those who travel far away, spend weeks on end, and often risk health or safety to help those who need them. But we don’t have to take such big steps to find the bonds of fellowship that form when we work together to overcome obstacles. No matter where we live, there are organizations working to address problems local to our town or region. Most all of the groups are in need of volunteers, and would welcome your contributions.
Better still, you might be able to offer assistance on your own to individuals you know who are hurting or lonely. Organizations cannot reach out to others without people, but people will always be able to reach out without an organization, just by caring and being a friend. Depending on your personality type, schedule and circle of acquaintances, you may find one or the other of these methods of outreach to be more suited to you. Both are always in demand.
Whatever method you choose, getting past the initial discomfort you feel will be worth it. The other phrase I hear from volunteers is one I’ve often been able to say myself with great sincerity: “I get back far more than I give.”
One year ago today:
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Another turned page
Even for those who aren’t in school, fall is full of promise.
York County, Virginia, November 2008
“…that old September feeling, left over from school days, of summer passing, vacation nearly done, obligations gathering, books and football in the air … Another fall, another turned page: there was something of jubilee in that annual autumnal beginning, as if last year’s mistakes had been wiped clean by summer.” ― Wallace Stegner
Though it has been many years since I last went to school, or even had children who did, I still feel the excitement in September. Something about the cooling autumn air carries with it the sense of new beginnings, people to meet and things to learn; the chance, as Stegner so vividly describes, to start over with a clean slate.
Many of you are teachers, students or both; others have children or grandchildren starting a new school year. But even those of us who don’t fit into any of those categories can get into the spirit of anticipation, as we bid the last of the summer weather farewell and settle in for the bustle of upcoming holidays and cozy evenings filled with friends, books and a mug of hot tea, coffee or cocoa.
May you have a lovely day, filled with the best of “that old September feeling.”
One year ago today:
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When we came together
I photographed this memorial wall at FDNY Engine 10 Ladder 10,
directly across from Ground Zero. New York City, May 2007
“Remember the hours after September 11th when we came together as one to answer the attack against our homeland. We drew strength when our firefighters ran upstairs and risked their lives so that others might live; when rescuers rushed into smoke and fire at the Pentagon; when the men and women of Flight 93 sacrificed themselves to save our nation’s Capitol; when flags were hanging from front porches all across America, and strangers became friends. It was the worst day we have ever seen, but it brought out the best in all of us.” — John Kerry
On September 11, 2001, we were living in northern California. My clock radio came on as usual at 6:00 a.m., and the first words I heard were “an airplane has crashed into the World Trade Center.” I immediately began praying for the airline pilots I knew, but even in my still-sleepy brain fog, I knew that this was no typical accident.
Jeff came in a few minutes later (he always rose an hour earlier than I did) and told me there had been two plane crashes, one into each tower. “It’s terrorists,” I said.
“It surely sounds like it,” he agreed. We speculated briefly as to what this might mean, and how his day would unfold if some sort of attack were in progress. “I might not be home at the usual time tonight,” he predicted.
A few minutes later I was in the bathroom helping Matt clean his orthodontic retainers when Drew came to tell me Eric had called. “He said to tell you he’s safe, and to advise you not to go into the city today, especially not the Golden Gate Bridge. He said they might be going after all the big targets.”
A short time later Jeff called to confirm what we had suspected; he would not be home at the usual time that night, and in fact, he didn’t know when he would be home. From past military exercises, I knew I might not be told where he was or when to expect him to come back home.
A short while later, Gloria called. “I just wanted to hear your voice,” she said.
While the details may differ, I suppose similar communications were taking place all over America. People calling to let others know they were safe, to worry about what might come next, and to seek reassurance by sharing the shock with someone we trusted.
Many people of my age or older almost invariably felt a haunting memory of November 22, 1963, the only other date when we remembered anything as shocking and frightening. For our parents’ generation, many remembered December 7, 1941. But absolutely none of us could remember anything on this scale. It’s not an overstatement to say that we were all changed in some way by that day, some of us more than others.
If John Kerry was right about the day bringing out the best in us, I’d like to think that “best” is still there, though dormant; that we could come together as one if anything so catastrophic should ever happen again. But why does it take catastrophe to bring out the best in us?
Today is a grim anniversary, but rather than re-living the horror and sadness, perhaps we can try to reenact the compassion and urgency we felt to reach out to others and let them know that we cared. Is it possible to remember the lessons of that day’s trauma and heartbreak even in the relative normalcy that we may (or may not) experience today?
Today I wish you a gloriously typical day in which nothing unexpected happens. But even if that wish comes true, I hope you will reach out to a loved one or neighbor with the understanding that was so forcefully thrust upon us thirteen years ago: life is short, unpredictable and sometimes very difficult. Let’s be there for each other.
One year ago today:
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Defeat Despair 
