Sit quietly in a room
Gloria and Pasha sit by our tree, Christmas Eve 2008
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
― Blaise Pascal
For decades, every year until this one, I have spent much time meticulously decorating our Christmas tree, a sort of yearly scrapbook with an ever-growing collection of ornaments, each representing a memory. I often question whether this is something on which I should spend so much time, because it seems to me that hardly anyone ever sits by the fire to enjoy the tree. But Gloria, my husband’s aunt and one of my dearest friends, is an exception to this. She has spent several Christmases with us, and she never fails to spend much time sitting by the tree (with Pasha nearby) simply enjoying its unique splendor.
Amidst the rush of the season, I hope we will all pause for some quiet moments alone. If you decorate for the season (or even if you do not), take a few minutes to sit quietly in a room and reflect on things that often go unnoticed. Such moments of solitude and contemplation enhance our appreciation of the festive, noisy gatherings of December.
Something truly sacred
Matt on the night before his second open heart surgery, enjoying a moment of laughter with Uncle Eric and Captain (his grandfather), 1994
“I believe that appreciation is a holy thing, that when we look for what’s best in the person we happen to be with at the moment, we’re doing what God does all the time. So in appreciating our neighbor, we’re participating in something truly sacred.”
— Fred Rogers
Those who know me best know that Fred Rogers is one of my great heroes. I am too old to have benefited from his work when I was a child, but through my own children I came to know his profound ability to see the holy in everyday life. Take some time today to channel your inner Fred Rogers and look for the good in each person you meet. It’s one of the simplest ways to make the world a better place, and at the same time, to create a more beautiful neighborhood inside our own minds.
Doing something worthwhile
A Keukenhof gardener, the Netherlands, 2007
“Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but from doing something worthwhile.” — Sir Wilfred Grenfell
It fascinates me to watch people who are engaged in tasks at which they are not only talented, but obviously enjoying themselves. From the scene-stealing gymnasts or rock musicians, to the less flashy but no less interesting craftsmen or cooks, their absorbed focus on their tasks translates to valuable benefits for those of us who admire, use or consume their work. Take time today to notice (and maybe even thank) people who are good at what they are doing. We are all served by the diligent occupation of many people we do not know — whether a mail carrier, a nurse or an airline pilot — and in turn, may we all do something worthwhile that will enhance others’ lives.
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Until things are brighter
Drew at the graves of Heloise and Abelard, cemetery Père Lachaise, Paris 2005
“Ah, I’d like to wear a rainbow every day
and tell the world that everything’s ok
But I’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back
‘Till things are brighter, I’m the Man in Black.”
— Johnny Cash
“Every man knows he’s a sissy compared to Johnny Cash.”
— Bono
Optimism untempered by reality is only delusion. This blog exists because I believe with all my heart in the power of positive thinking; that the thoughts we allow our minds to dwell upon do indeed change reality in more ways than we can imagine. But a resounding tribute is owed to those who open our eyes to the pain and suffering all around us. On Pearl Harbor Day, it seems appropriate to pause and turn our thoughts in a more somber direction.
Everyone loves enthusiasm and joy. Those who speak for the suffering, the desperate, and the deserted are seldom popular. From the prophets of old to the modern doctors who must deliver a devastating diagnosis, we all tend to want to shoot the messengers who bring dark news. Yet these people do play a necessary, if thankless, role.
Those of us who have known deep and seemingly unrelenting sorrows can testify that sunny platitudes are sometimes what we least need to hear. The Bible tells us to weep with those who weep, for there is a time for weeping. Today, I reflect in gratitude for the tearful prayers of so many who understand our present suffering and share our sorrows. I invite you to listen to the words (linked above) of the unforgettable “Man in Black” and take a few moments to remember those who are suffering today. May we never flinch at our duty to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
A real and active virtue
Kathy, my friend and fellow camera enthusiast, at the Missouri Botanical Garden in 2008
“True contentment is a real, even an active, virtue – not only affirmative but creative. It is the power of getting out of any situation all there is in it.” — G. K. Chesterton
Although my habit of taking photographs wherever I go sometimes annoys my companions, a few friends share this passion and understand. Photographs are, for me, one way of getting the most out of any situation. When I freeze a moment in time with a photograph, I am saying to myself, “I am happy — or at least content — to be right here, right now, and want always to remember it.” Many of the photos I take are of everyday situations, and I think people are often amused or bewildered at why I would want to capture the mundane or even unpleasant in a photo. But Chesterton’s words have helped me to understand that usually, the urge to bring out my camera springs from the creativity of contentment.
A cathedral in mind
Cologne Cathedral, Germany, 2007
“A pile of rocks ceases to be a rock pile when somebody contemplates it with the idea of a cathedral in mind.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Not everyone is capable of seeing past present realities to grasp what is possible in difficult or unappealing situations. Yet the alchemy of a transformative idea can render the most humble material into breathtaking splendor. As we negotiate the trials of life, whether menacing or mundane, may we have the faith and vision to see beyond immediate limitations to the magnificent possibilities waiting to be revealed.
No pessimist
Golden Gate Bridge and Marin Headlands, 2003
“No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.” — Helen Keller
Few sights are more breathtaking to me than the Golden Gate Bridge and the surrounding lands and sea. Such a vivid reminder of the creativity of people, and especially of the God in whose image they are made, never failed to lift my spirits no matter how many times I stood on the shore and looked out on this scene. I am deeply grateful for the daring, hard work and optimism that made such wonders a reality for us to enjoy. What wonders, large or small, are you thankful for today?
To lead a simple life
Porch scene, Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia 2005
“To lead a simple life in reasonable comfort, with a minimum of possessions, ranks high among the arts of living. It leaves us the time, resources and freedom of mind we need for the things that give life value: loving, helping, serving and giving.” — Eknath Easwaran
Cheerfulness breaking in
Window detail, Washington National Cathedral, Washington DC 2005
“Where Christ is, cheerfulness will keep breaking in.” — Dorothy Sayers
The Bible says “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” For most of us, this is an ever-repeating cycle. Even in years of great happiness, there are intervals of grief. And even in the darkest night, there come glimmers of humor, hope and cheer; coded signals (often sent through other people) that God is still with us and will never let go.
A great revolution
The Wright Brothers National Memorial, Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, 2006
“The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” —William James
Despite the controversies that linger over who deserves the credit for the birth of aviation, the Wright Brothers exhibited a persistence and dedication that changed the world forever. Psychology may not have been around to document the crucial role of personal resolve and resilience throughout human history, but countless wonders, conveniences and masterpieces testify that the curious and determined mind can bring about changes undreamed of by those who give up easily.
Bounty enough
Keukenhof Gardens, The Netherlands, March 2007
“We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty
enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words — to be united
with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe
in it, to become part of it.” — C. S. Lewis
Two things stand
Near Cabo San Lucas, Mexico 2004
“Life is mostly froth and bubble
Two things stand like stone
KINDNESS in another’s trouble
COURAGE in your own.” — Adam Lindsay Gordon
Vibrantly alive
- The Avenue des Champs-Élysées as seen from l’Arc de Triomphe, Paris 2005
“You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose.”
— Indira Gandhi
I love the city; I find its nonstop life energizing and stimulating. Even in the midst of the rush, we can pause long enough to bask in the sensory feast and focus on quiet details that might have escaped notice. In the same way, the most silent and secluded place offers an opportunity to awaken the senses to a bird’s song, a faint breeze or a corner of the imagination previously neglected. Even in sleep, we often encounter dreams that can help us process what our conscious minds avoid. I wish you a day that is vibrantly alive with observation, contemplation and joy.
Absolutely, positively, certainly
Fresh flowers bought for a few dollars at the Kroger markdown bin give us days of enjoyment, and lift my spirits every time I come into the kitchen. Here’s to inexpensive joys!
“In our rush for newer, quicker, better, we seem to be missing out on what we fundamentally crave, a calmer, gentler, sweeter and more gracious life. Is it easy to achieve such a life? Definitely not. Is it possible? Absolutely, positively, certainly, yes. (Don’t look for impossible from me; I’ve never found a solution in cynicism.)” — Alexandra Stoddard
I’ve always loved Alexandra Stoddard’s writing. Her words are calm, measured, and unfailingly optimistic, and she understands that life is a gift to be treasured in all circumstances. As we struggle with the toughest challenges, we find renewal in seeking for good wherever it can be found. May your day be blessed with eyes, heart and mind sharply focused on the abundance all around us.
Open to the day
My mother on my parents’ 50th anniversary, in Banff
That more and more a Providence
Of love is understood,
Making the springs of time and sense
Sweet with eternal good;
That death seems but a covered way
Which opens into light,
Wherein no blinded child can stray
Beyond the Father’s sight…
That all the jarring notes of life
Seem blending in a psalm,
And all the angles of its strife
Slow rounding into calm.
And so the shadows fall apart,
And so the west-winds play;
And all the windows of my heart
I open to the day.
— John Greenleaf Whittier, from “My Psalm”
Nothing so easy
Jeff snapped this photo of me on a Grand Cayman beach, March 2011
There is nothing so easy but it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly. — Publius Terentius Afer
While we lived in Hawaii, it amazed me when one of my sons complained, “Do we HAVE to go to the beach AGAIN?” It didn’t matter how often I told him we were lucky to live near the most beautiful beaches on earth. He didn’t want to go, so in his eyes, a day at the beach was a difficulty to be avoided.
Since we cannot always do what we like, is there any way we can train ourselves to like at least some of what we must do? Or at least like it a bit more?
It’s the heart
Jeff and Matt in Central Park, Manhattan, 2007
“It is not flesh and blood, but heart which makes us fathers and sons.” -Friedrich von Schiller
No matter what cares may be weighing on you today, make time to enjoy the people you love. Life is short. Spend it well.
The true measure of our thanksgiving
Union Square, San Francisco, 2002
“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.” —W.T. Purkiser
Black Friday has become almost as much an American tradition as Thanksgiving itself. Yet our shopping on this day is not always a selfish pursuit. Many of us are seeking gifts for people we love, hoping for bargains that will stretch our dollars. Although the crowds can get nasty at times, my experiences on this day have been mostly positive, with patience and good cheer on display to offset the irritability that often crops up. I find it amusing and festive to see people lined up outside stores several hours before dawn, almost as if the world was having a big slumber party to which everyone was invited.
It’s important, though, to remember that gifts are only one way to share our blessings and show our love for others. However you choose to spend this day, here’s hoping that it will find you enjoying life with a thankful heart.
Unlock the fullness of life
Our Thanksgiving centerpiece, 2009
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” –Melody Beattie
Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful for each and every person who visits us here. I wish you all a year full of bounty and blessing.
Unknown blessings
Pasha dreams the impossible dream, Thanksgiving 2004
“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.” — Native American Saying
I wish I could always have as much hope as our dog has when he smells food being prepared. Although he’s an expert beggar, he is successful relatively rarely because we watch his diet carefully. Still, he never stops trying, and alway seems grateful for whatever is tossed his way. May we all live in the hope of unexpected graces and future gifts we cannot yet imagine.
An untroubled spirit
Jeff at Natural Bridge Virginia, 2005
“The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.” —Marcus Aurelius
I’ve always admired my husband’s stoic nature, even as I get frustrated and impatient when he seems unable to share my highs and lows. In the face of his catastrophic illness, with wave upon wave of bad news overtaking us, that quality takes on huge dimensions and increases my admiration exponentially. It provides a stark context for the deep faith that has always been the foundation of his life. May we all have access to such a firm foundation when the storms of life pound away at us.
Pleasure in the pathless woods
Our yard and lot in Yorktown, somewhere around 2007
“There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more…” —Lord Byron
There’s something very calming about nature that neutralizes the toxic overload of a cold-hearted, techno-crazy world. I love the serenity of the mountains, the hypnotic motion of the sea, the dazzling colors of a flower garden. But just as well, or even more, I love my own backyard and the wooded lot we own behind it. I cannot go back there even briefly without feeling closer to God, as if He is telling me “I am still here, with you.”
If only we tune in
Taken near Cooperstown, New York, June 2009
I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which
God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in. –George Washington Carver
How can we make the time to “tune in” today and experience God’s love through creation?
Can we really afford NOT to?
Even in darkness
The moon over San Francisco, as seen from Fort Point, February 2004
Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.” Psalm 112:4
This photo is posted in gratitude for the ongoing prayers of so many who are following this blog, and in tribute to my beloved husband who is facing grave illness with faith, courage and strength.
Beyond all reason
The view from my parents’ room at the Banff Springs Hotel, 1999
“God does not die on the day when we cease to believe in a personal deity, but we die on the day when our lives cease to be illumined by the steady radiance, renewed daily, of a wonder, the source of which is beyond all reason.” – Dag Hammarskjold
Defeat Despair 