God’s medicine
Our sons laugh it up in Victoria, British Columbia 1993
“Mirth is God’s medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it.” — Henry Ward Beecher
As Norman Cousins famously demonstrated, laughter really is the best medicine. It can break through the gloom and lift the heart more quickly than any other remedy. Years ago while we lived in Ohio, we were coping with the worrisome heart defects of our newborn son, along with the normal stress of caring for an infant and his 16-months-older brother. I remember coming in from work late at night (I worked an airline job) feeling tired, worried and discouraged. My husband would leave a clipping on the kitchen table for me to read from the Dayton newspaper, by a then-little-known humor columnist named Dave Barry. No matter how blue I was feeling, Barry’s writing would have me laughing aloud, and the effect was as cleansing to the spirit as a hot shower to a grimy body. Over the years I’ve felt a deep appreciation for anyone who brings laugher into our lives. Laugher is serious business.
Winter lives
A winter scene in our neighborhood, 2010
The “dead” of winter —
Or so they say.
But winter lives
In her own way.
She leaves her tracks,
She shows us signs:
Not brilliant blooms,
But webs of lines.
— Douglas Florian
As I write this, there is snow on the ground outside and I have my space heater running near my feet. Next week, the weather forecast calls for unseasonably warm temperatures. I’ll be happy to go outdoors and not get chilled instantly. But I have to admit, it’s pretty cozy on snowy days.
What is the weather like where you are? How does winter live in your neighborhood? Or do you live in a part of the world where January is summertime?
Hope beyond measure
Appomattox Court House National Historic Park, Virginia 2005
“Green pastures are before me, which yet I have not seen;
Bright skies will soon be o’er me, where the dark clouds have been.
My hope I cannot measure, my path to life is free,
My Savior has my treasure, and He will walk with me.”
—Anna Laetitia Waring
On a recent Sunday at a church where we are frequent visitors, the congregation sang the hymn “In Heavenly Love Abiding,” the final verse of which is printed above. I grew up singing this song, and its words are familiar, but hearing them in the context of my husband’s recent illness gave them new meaning for me.
I noticed in the music annotation that the hymn was written in 1850. I could not help reflecting that these words were penned during an era when there was arguably much less reason for such optimism than there is now. At that time, there was very little of what we would call real medical help available; no emergency rooms, no heart surgery, no chemotherapy. In fact, even the antibiotics or anesthesia that we rely upon today were not yet developed. And effective, compassionate medical help for depression or other mental illnesses was certainly not available.
Anna Waring was 27 years old when she wrote these verses. What were the dark clouds, storms and “low heart” she referred to in the words of this hymn? History doesn’t tell us, but it seems clear that her life must have had its share of sorrow. Yet her hopeful spirit shines through in this verse. Over 160 years later her words live on, inspiring me and countless others to live in faith that better things lie ahead.
A delightful society
The British Library welcomes me to London, December 2005
“Books are delightful society. If you go into a room and find it full of books – even without taking them from the shelves they seem to speak to you, to bid you welcome.” ― William Ewart Gladstone
From the most magnificent libraries to the humblest bookshelves, I feel at home wherever there are books. I guess that’s why I eventually earned my Master of Library and Information Studies at the University of Hawaii (1994-1996). But long before I had a graduate degree in library science, I haunted the stacks of every library I could find, and still have about a dozen active library cards to various libraries. Wherever I go, I seek out and visit the public libraries, each unique but all with the enduring appeal that comes from housing infinite possibilities for exploration and discovery.
Through books, I connect to other people from worlds vastly different from my own, experiencing the timeless bond that comes from the sharing of ideas, stories and viewpoints. While the internet now offers similar opportunities for connection, for me there will never be anything quite like the comfortable yet exciting “click” of recognition I sense whenever I walk through a library door: I belong.
Hidden inside
Cactus flowers in an Amsterdam floral shop, March 2007
“Sometimes what you want is hidden inside what you don’t want.” — Ashleigh Brilliant
Just as the prickly cactus produces beautiful blooms, so harsh circumstances can result in positive change and growth. This does not negate the pain of grief and loss, but it does provide a way through darkness. Christians believe “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28), a verse that is sometimes misinterpreted to mean “everything that happens is for the best.” Not everything that happens is good, but God promises us that no matter what happens, we can find a way to bring blessings from sorrow.
My husband’s stage IV cancer is a nightmare; we could never see it as being “for the best.” Yet even with the suffering, we have been blessed with unexpected joys:
The outpouring of love and support from people we are close to, as well as those we had not heard from in years, is a continual encouragement. And many people we have never met strengthen us daily with their prayers and expressions of concern.
A lot of frustrations or concerns that once held a false sense of importance have been rendered powerless to bother us, seeming minor in comparison to the challenges we face now. We have a sharply focused picture of what really matters; many truths we understood intellectually before, we now know with our hearts.
And I have spent more time with my husband in recent weeks — despite that time being mostly in medical settings — than we were ever able to spend together before. As strange as it may sound, I have been so glad to be with him even when the reason we’re spending time together is because of the “worse” part of “for better or worse.”
Whatever trials or challenges you may be facing now, my prayer is that there will be hidden blessings that emerge from the pain.
Talk of mysteries!
Jeff snapped this photo of me on Cadillac Mountain in Acadia National Park, June 2012
“Talk of mysteries! — Think of our life in nature, — daily to be shown matter, to come in contact with it, — rocks, trees, wind on our cheeks! The solid earth! The actual world!” — Henry David Thoreau
I hope nobody’s getting tired of my going on about nature, but the natural world is a marvel to me that never loses its wonder. There is simply nothing more effective at ridding me of the frustration, anxiety or depression of whatever burdens are weighing me down. Getting outside and paying close attention to the things God created puts everything into perspective.
The great thing about it is, I don’t have to travel to a faraway feast of nature such as Acadia or other national parks (although I highly recommend doing that as much as possible). I can go to a local park, or my back yard. I can re-pot plants or water my flowers and shrubs. Even digging weeds while listening to a book on tape is a balm for my spirit (and my neighbors have joked that I’m welcome to dig weeds in their yard anytime!)
Next time you’re at the end of your rope, make time to visit a nearby park, or take a walk in your own neighborhood and try to name the different birds, trees and plants you encounter. Take along an MP3 player loaded with your favorite music, or a great mystery or an inspiring classic. Tune in and rejoice!
The ordinary arts
At the Hearthside Bed and Breakfast, Bar Harbor, Maine 2012
“The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.” — Thomas Moore
There are small details– inexpensive or free– that make our homes a more nurturing environment. For me, some of the minimal efforts that have maximum impact include making the bed daily, keeping things tidied up, and adding touches of color with flowers, books, or other attractive items of personal significance. What are some of the simple ways you can brighten your life by enhancing your home?
An island in itself
The atrium of the Diamond Princess on her maiden voyage, 2004
“The most fascinating island you’ll ever visit on a big ship is the ship itself.”
— Ashleigh Brilliant
Count me among the people who are hooked on cruising with their first voyage. Beyond the allure of waking up in new surroundings each morning, or the convenience of unpacking and checking in only one time, there is the undeniable marvel of the ship itself. Modern cruise ships are floating cities, and each year the cruise lines seem to compete to see which can produce the most superlative ship. Some go for size or “bells and whistles” while others emphasize luxury and elegance. All offer unlimited food and a wide variety of activities.
No matter your travel preferences or tastes, there seems to be something for everyone who can afford the fare. While cruising is actually a cost-effective way to see many places in a short time, travel is expensive at best. But even if you can’t afford to cruise this year, it’s fun to spend some time browsing the websites and ship plans of the various lines, or reading about the many itineraries and ports of call. In fact, the anticipation of planning for a cruise– for months or even for years– is one of the best aspects of going on one.
Everybody can be great
Our son Matt in June 2012, with one of his favorite people, Tilly, who comes from England
each summer to help young people with disabilities have a great time at camp.
“Everybody can be great… because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
These beautiful words are being quoted more frequently in recent days as the nation prepares to honor Dr. King’s memory with “A day on, not a day off.” Community service projects are planned throughout the USA as a way to honor Dr. King’s call to service. As a minister, King took seriously the words of Jesus in Matthew 23:11-12: “The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Some of the greatest people I know will never be famous, powerful or rich. They are the women and men who prepare meals for church potlucks and homeless shelters. They teach in a variety of locations, from school classrooms to prisons. They clean our buildings, drive our buses, fly our airplanes and watch over our loved ones who are sick or disabled.
I have seen many of these people up close for years, because our younger son was born with multiple disabilities. As an adult, he depends on the kindness of countless people: doctors, nurses, job coaches and respite providers, and many others too numerous to mention.
The high point of his year is always a week or two at summer camp, where he and other young adults with disabilities gather with non-disabled peers who come from many countries to provide a safe and caring place to have fun. Because of the wide range of disabilities among the campers, these camp staffers work long and often gruelling days, with tasks most people would shun, but their enthusiasm and love for the job is always evident. It would be impossible for me to put into words the gratitude I feel for these wonderful people.
The really great thing is that the campers also serve. Their humor, forgiving spirit and persistence through frustrating obstacles are an inspiration to those who have the heart to interact closely with them. Though we all have different gifts, “anybody can serve.”
Next time you are working hard and feel taken for granted, remember the people who count on your service, and know that you are appreciated more than you may realize.
An authentic style
Scarves on display at an Istanbul market, 2008
“People with an authentic style know what they are, but even more important, they know what they are not. They don’t care about labels. They care about personal expression.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach
I have always admired women who know how to use accessories to create beautiful outfits. Usually, a woman whose style I admire does not rely on the latest fashion fad to create an eye-catching look; rather, she knows how to pull colors, garments and costume jewelry together to highlight what is most beautiful about her own personality and character. This talent does not require spending a lot of money. Some of the most stylish people I know are frugal and creative, unafraid to try something different.
The same is true for other forms of art incorporated into everyday life. The most memorable homes and living spaces I’ve seen are the ones that are unique, expressing the essence of the people who live there, accentuating the most interesting aspects of their lives.
Not all of us are gifted at dressing or decorating with artistry, but we can appreciate those who add beauty to the world in this way. When you see people whose clothing or home style brightens your day, tell them so! And if you have a talent for creating with style, know that others enjoy and benefit from your efforts to make the world more attractive.
All sorts of folks
Our California church family gathers around us to sing, pray and wish us well on the Sunday before our move to Virginia, July 2004
“I am out to sing songs that will prove to you that this is your world and that if it has hit you pretty hard and knocked you for a dozen loops, no matter what color, what size you are, how you are built, I am out to sing the songs that make you take pride in yourself and in your work. And the songs that I sing are made up for the most part by all sorts of folks just about like you.” — Woody Guthrie
I’m fairly new to the world of blogging, and I find the scope and size of the blogosphere amazing. While linked in some cases to traditional publishing, it stands apart for its unprecedented accessibility and ease of entry; a great many people all over the world can blog without paying much to do it (even those who don’t own computers can access them through public libraries, schools or benevolent friends).
This morning as I was marveling over this, how I can turn on my computer and hear from people literally all over the world who have read my words, and I can go and read theirs, I thought of Woody Guthrie and his devotion to the people who were seldom heard of through the media of his day. It seems to me that blogging is to literature what folk songs are to music.
Because blogging belongs to the people at large and not to the gatekeepers of traditional publication, it is seen by many as unsophisticated and ephemeral, somehow less important than “real” publishing. But just as folk songs capture and record the invaluable history of everyday people, so the countless blogs published online daily are forming an unparalleled record of the entire world; who we are, what we think, how we feel.
Infinitely healing
Green hills near our northern California home, 2003
“There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature– the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after the winter.” — Rachel Carson
Among the things I miss most about living in northern California is being able to see the beautiful green hills on a daily basis — but only for a relatively brief time in the spring. The famed California sunshine quickly burns them to a golden brown for the rest of the year. On the coastal regions of California, we experienced winter as the rainy season. The rains would begin in December and continue steadily until February or early March. Although the rain would become annoying at times, we always needed it badly after going months without it. Whenever I would find myself complaining about the rains tripping the breaker and turning my outdoor Christmas lights off, or soaking my shoes and keeping the skies a gloomy gray for weeks, I would remind myself of the glorious green hills that would soon follow.
Mad with joy
A garden in Colonial Williamsburg, May 2009
“People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us.” — Iris Murdoch
Go a little mad with joy today. Visit a florist or plant nursery, or just the floral department of a grocery store, and take a few minutes to see– really see– the flowers. Or, if you cannot get out, enjoy the flowers here and here and here. Or just google “flowers” and click on “images.” Bloggers, please feel free to post links to your favorite flower photos in the comments! As we used to say in the 60’s: FLOWER POWER!
Perfect pictures
An island of beauty in a cobblestone square, Germany 2007
“I’d started playing another game, one I kept a secret…I called it the Perfect Picture game. The goal was to find snapshot-sized scenes in my town that showed absolutely no sign of Katrina. The game had been especially challenging right after the storm. Broken limbs, torn streets, and mangled houses relentlessly assaulted the eyes. With the Perfect Picture game, I’d discovered I could turn off my peripheral vision and focus on one small area…Much later, I would understand why the game seemed so important to me. The miraculous gifts of the storm were those of the spirit…Yet it was difficult to pair any image with those inspiring qualities. Meanwhile, the losses of Katrina were imminently visible, branding the brain with panoramas of despair and pain…Finding even a small visual balm — like a small garden planted by a neighbor — gave us the power to heal our dreams and restore our peace.” — Ellis Anderson
In her award-winning book Under Surge, Under Siege, Ellis Anderson writes movingly of her small Mississippi town surviving the ravages of Hurricane Katrina. Faced with overwhelming loss and grief, the residents of Bay St. Louis pulled together and rose above sorrow through their relentless determination to overcome despair with optimism and strength. The Perfect Picture game was one of my favorite parts of Anderson’s engaging book, and probably was an influence in the creation of this blog. Just as Anderson managed to frame islets of perfect beauty amid massive destruction, so we can create mental places of refuge from pain by focusing our eyes (literally and figuratively) on what is beautiful and inspiring. In 2013, try creating your own “perfect pictures” with your camera, your eyes, or your heart.
Permit yourself the luxury
Neighbors on a winter afternoon stroll, York County, Virginia 2010
“Winter is the time of promise because there is so little to do – or because you can now and then permit yourself the luxury of thinking so.” — Stanley Crawford
Each year, I enter January with delusions about how much I will get done — I will clean out my closets, sort through old letters, put my photographs into albums or digitize them to send to others. I never seem to accomplish all that I plan to do in the winter, partly because that season is rarely as idle as I imagine it will be, and partly because, more than any other time of year, I permit myself the delicious pastimes associated with the dormant season: browsing through books, strolling on a cold, sunny day, and daydreaming about the coming spring. I wish for you the wonderful winter luxury of taking a break while nature itself is half asleep.
Practical pleasures
A Piazza Navona café, Rome 2008
“He has gained every point who has mixed practicality with pleasure…” — Horace
Treat yourself today to some wholesome indulgence. Whether it’s a cup of tea, a piece of fruit or an afternoon nap, savor the enjoyment of things that are delightful as well as beneficial. If the weather is gloomy, browse in a bookstore or library; if it’s sunny, take an afternoon walk. A small break in the normal routine can brighten up a winter’s day. What are some of your favorite practical pleasures?
Every exit
Garden Gate, Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia 2005
“Every exit is an entry somewhere else.” — Tom Stoppard
Sometimes a painful change can be eased by choosing to have faith that good things may lie ahead. Perhaps we can re-frame a forced or unwanted exit — from a job, a relationship or any phase of life — as the beginning of a new direction. If we focus on the discovery of hidden possibilities, we will face the future with optimism instead of dread.
Primitive purity
A cozy cabin room at a northern California bed and breakfast inn, 2003
“How has it come about that we use the highly emotive word ‘stagnation,’ with all its malodorous and malarial overtones, for what other ages would have called ‘permanence?’ Why does the word ‘primitive’ at once suggest to us clumsiness, inefficiency, barbarity? When our ancestors talked of the primitive church or the primitive purity of our constitution they meant nothing of that sort…”
— C. S. Lewis
It’s mistake to romanticize the past, but it is equally erroneous to assume that new is always better. Although the word “primitive” has taken on the negative connotations Lewis mentions, it also implies simplicity and freedom from complexity. In today’s world, perhaps these are traits we would do well to reclaim whenever possible. What areas of life have grown too complicated? How can we untangle ourselves from needless involvement with too many details?
Free to go very slow
Our box turtle pays a visit in June, 2005
“There’s absolutely no reason for being rushed along with the rush. Everybody should be free to go very slow.” — Robert Frost
A box turtle couple has lived in the wooded lot behind our yard for all the years we have been there. We have never seen them together, but the brightly colored male or his mate occasionally appears at different spots in our yard, and we have seen the female laying eggs near our picket fence. We also see some delightfully tiny baby turtles from time to time. Often when I spot one of the turtles, I’ll run inside to get my camera. I am always amazed at how much ground they cover during the brief moments I’m gone. Sometimes they disappear altogether. It seems impossible to me that they can move so slowly, yet still go so far.
When things feel craziest and most out of control in my life, I find that it helps tremendously to give myself permission to ignore the clock. Almost any task can become pleasant if I don’t feel obligated to rush while doing it. I put on my MP3 player tuned to an interesting audiobook, or some favorite lively music, and I take my time as I clean house, garden or walk. I might not accomplish as much as I would if I pushed myself harder, but I feel happy and contented when I allow myself to go slowly.
Lose sight of the shore
View from our cabin on the Diamond Princess, her maiden voyage 2004
“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” — André Gide
To live a life of faith, we must be willing to relinquish the illusion of control. This does not imply being imprudent or foolhardy, but it does suggest that our vision is limited at best. Putting our trust in what we cannot see may feel risky at first, but living a reactive, fearful life is ultimately the more dangerous course. If we sacrifice our freedom to a false sense of security, we will likely end up neither free nor safe.
Another step toward simplicity
“Still another step toward simplicity is to refuse to live beyond our means emotionally. In a culture where whirl is king, we must understand our emotional limits.”
— Richard J. Foster
Even positive emotions can become overwhelming. Solitude, meditation or prayer are powerful allies in our struggle to remain balanced amid the tumult of stirring events that seem to come at us with ever-greater intensity. For some of us, we may need to step away, at least temporarily, from daily habits that play havoc with our emotions, whether those habits involve televised or printed news, demanding people, or crowded, boisterous gatherings. Winter is a time well suited to quiet contemplation. Let’s enjoy the calm of nature in repose, so that we can enter the springtime with renewed strength and energy.
Strangely enough
Oak Bluffs, Martha’s Vineyard 2012
“Strangely enough, this is the past that somebody in the future is longing to go back to.” — Ashleigh Brilliant
The older I get, the easier it is to romanticize the past. Of course, some memories are rightly cherished, and today we have difficulties (many of which are technology-related) that past generations did not have to worry about. But honestly taking everything into consideration, I have to admit that for every negative development I can identify about the world today, there are at least two or three advances I appreciate that were not available even thirty or forty years ago. No matter how fondly I may indulge in nostalgia, I would not want to go back to the past. These really are the good old days, at least for some of us.
Faithfulness to a small task
Point Reyes Lighthouse, Marin County, California 2004
“We are not called to save the world, solve all problems, and help all people. But we each have our own unique call, in our families, in our work, in our world…we will discover that our faithfulness to a small task is the most healing response to the illnesses of our time.” — Henri Nouwen
The lighthouse keepers of former days toiled in isolation, mostly without recognition, to save countless lives. In a similar way, we are surrounded by people whose unsung diligence contributes to the common good in ways never measured or fully known. People such as Henri Nouwen exemplify the power of obedience to a humble calling.
Because our younger son has multiple disabilities, I have become familiar with the work of L’Arche, with which Nouwen was associated. To tour a L’Arche home is to experience a renewed hope for the future of people with disabilities, and an increased faith in humanity that blooms in such communities of caring and support.
As we go about our daily responsibilities, it’s easy to lose sight of the many people who depend on our steadfast faithfulness. I hope you will be refreshed today by the understanding that your work need not be glamorous or lucrative to have genuine and lasting value.
Almost like talking
Tourists at the Library of Celsus, Ephesus 2008
“Traveling is almost like talking with men of other centuries.” — source unknown; widely attributed to René Descartes
Whether the area features a landscape that goes back one century or many, whether the ruins are real or reconstructed, I always feel a keen sense of connection to what came before. All places new to me have in common a combination of the familiar and exotic, so that I am drawn in and carried away at the same time. If reading broadens the mind, travel fills in some of the details within the expanse that has been created. This year I wish for you new discoveries that will increase your understanding of the past, across the world or in your own home town.
A contribution to reality
Inside the Robert Frost farm in Derry, New Hampshire 2012
“A good poem is a contribution to reality. The world is never the same once a good poem has been added to it.” — Dylan Thomas
I tend to think of time spent reading poetry as a luxury, and certainly it’s possible to live without it. But poems have had a place in my life that is far more practical and necessary than first seems apparent. Reading poetry can be therapeutic and cathartic; it can be an amusing distraction or a much-needed voice of understanding in a dark and lonely hour. Writing poetry hones our ability to shut out the unnecessary and pare down to essentials. It trains us to communicate effectively by packing each word and phrase with meaning. Today I invite you to set aside five minutes, or fifteen, to appreciate a poem or two. It will be time well spent. And please, feel free to add a link to one of your favorite poems in the comments.
Defeat Despair 